Posts Tagged ‘Drag’


Thursday, October 20th, 2011

Once again another sterling evening was had at the Marrickville Polly’s dance this past Saturday, all it takes is a healthy dose of friends, and attitude being checked at the door, and you’re bound to have a ball (or a toasted sandwich) at Polly’s.

Nowhere else in Sydney can you be dancing to Lady Ga Ga where the music drops, the crowd is hushed, in the zone dancing, and then over the PA comes the call ‘Don’t forget, the toasted sangers are off in ten minutes, and tickets for the bus to the Taxi Club are now for sale .. back to Ga Gag’ i love it!!, it’s so Camp, it’s so community, and it’s so without the beige polish that has decended upon many venues, and locations in our community.

I never feel guilty having a big meal before Polly’s, because i know i’m going to dance it all off later on the dance floor, nowhere else do i dance non stop and never leave the floor, all the stars align, and everything in the universe is great when you get a run of song’s like ‘Born this way’, followed by Diana Ross and ‘Chain reaction’ and then best of all, the slam dunk, ‘Amarillo’!!, i must take this opportunity to state to Polly’s, and all who sail her, if there ‘EVER’ comes a dance, and ‘Amarillo’ is NOT played, you can forget about the ‘Occupy Sydney’ protesters, i’ll have a group of smelly ferals come in and squat on the dance floor, Miss Tammy cannot do without her dose of dervish dancing to ‘Amarillo’.

Lastly, big shout out to everyone who helps to run and organise a night like Pollies, many queens swan in without nary a thought to all the work that must go into putting on an event like this, so Miss Tammy would like to take a moment to acknowledge this work, and effort, to say that it is appreciated more than you’ll ever know, so a polite, deep, and pantiless curtsy to Miss Joan, Miss Caroll and everyone from me.


Monday, August 22nd, 2011


Monday, September 12th, 2005

Old Tamala is over the moon, i stand here before you
braying out a fanfare of unmitigated joy, from the
flatual pit of my arms, blurting out an ode to
announce we Just got confirmation that we’ve landed
seats for Paul’s second Anaheim show on Saturday the
12th of November ..

Tah dah!!

So not only will i now be going to see Paul on the
Friday, but now on the Saturday night i
will be able to take Adam to see his first ever rock
(rawk) concert .. i’m excited about this, but a little
concerned, i think the wildest concert Adam has been
to was a street theatre recital of ‘The cat in the
hat’ performed by a troop of desperate backpacking
‘sock puppeteers’ ..

How will he cope with my ‘Ringo Klaus-ian’ moments,
which will basically last for an hour before the
concert, all during it, and probably for the next year


Monday, September 12th, 2005

Its that time again where i feature some more of Mata Hairies stunning fashions, i grabbed these stills from my set of Lancelot Link dvd’s, these are only from the first disc, later in the series i think the producers realised what a glamour they had in Marta, and thus started to dress her in some REALLY funky clothes i’ll have these on the blog soon.

Photo (1) shows that Marta has been trained to sit with perfect poise, and check out the rock on her finger.

Photo (2) this ISNT Marta, but rather an extra from the show.

Photo (3) shows Marta can wear any colour, even watermellon, i seriously love her chic close cropped hairdo as well.

Photo (4) this is Marta in disguise as an airhostess, please take note of the wide banded watch which EVERYONE who is anyone is wearing these days, the white bangle is really set off by the dark fur.


Monday, September 12th, 2005

Heres another platter from Tammys k-tell record selector .. have i shown you my sock puppet records yet?


Monday, September 5th, 2005

Ahhhhhh, my second favorite season after autumn is spring, this is where the buds bloom, and everything smells sweet. How can people rush past a pretty flower? i know i cant and love to grab pics when i can. Smell the flowers.


Saturday, August 27th, 2005

‘We can be hero’s’ currently screening on the ABC on Wednesday nights is the current ‘must watch situation’ down here in Aussie. Its a mockumentary about five Australians all vying for the title of ‘Australian of the year’ i wont go into details, go to to get the full rundown, however the character that has caught my eye, and how apt as she has a chronic stigmatism, is ‘Pat Mullins’. I will say no more, other thn the fact that Pat was born with aforementioned stigmatism, and one leg massively shorter than the other.

To work around her disability Pat taught herself at a very young age to roll everywhere, at incredible speeds. I love how Pat has adjusted her fashion to work with her disability, my favorite Pat pret a’ porter moment is to come this week, when she dons a pair of ‘pewter’ heels .. one greatley extended (see below pic). I will leave you with this quote from Pat ‘I may be disabled .. but i can roll’


Wednesday, August 24th, 2005

This past weekend i’ve had Phillip from Melbourne visiting us, he stayed a few days which was fantastic, but it was a tough call for him to end up staying in Wollongong mere days after finishing a three month world trip. We had an absolute laugh trekking around and visiting a few old haunts, To give you a ‘slight’ insight into the man simply known as ‘Phillip’ on Sunday morning i woke up early-ish and was creeping around doing the washing up, the phone in the lounge rang and i raced to answer it before it woke Phillip up, i picked up the phone to find it was Phillip calling me from the next room, he informed me that he was awake, sitting up in bed, ready for breakfast and prepared to recieve visitors.
When i stay at Phillips place he makes me sleeep on a hissing, blurting, deflating air goiter. The pics below are an ‘art’ shot of Phillip i took in the side mirror of the car, the other pic is of Phillip, Adam and myself having breakfast at north Wollongong beach this past weekend.


Monday, August 22nd, 2005

A friend just sent me this amazing photo of the space shuttle breaking throught the sound barrier, awesome.


Monday, August 22nd, 2005

Some would call it a quirk, some would call it strange, others i’m sure have different names for it, but old Tamala dosnt like change .. well, not when it comes to her personal cleansing products. In the last few months two of my lathersome staples have been pulled from the shelves and ‘discontinued’ .. oh how i shudder at the finality of that word. First it was my Colgate pump pack tooth paste that got the rissole, then last week when shopping for my favorite ‘Sunflower and honey’ scented soap i saw the dreaded slip of paper on the shelve ‘Discontinued’.

With racing heart i scooped up the remaining few bars and hoofed it to the check out chick, who seeing the panic in my eyes made no attempt at idle chatter. When i got home i called the customer service number on the back wrapper of the soap, they clued me up to where i could score the last few remaining cakes in Wollongong.
I didnt dare wait till next day opening, i swished into town with my pathetic calico ‘greeny’ bags and swooped down upon the store that had the booty, i ran into a girlfriend from work who was also shopping, i was relieved to find out that she wasnt there to challenge me for the covetted cakes, but rather to pick up some eye liner. Knowing me as long as she has, she just gave me a gentle smile when she copped sight of my bags of lather goods.

I’m sad to say that the last of my toothpaste has now gone, i have moved on, but it will never be the same as the golden days of the pump pack, as some sort of solice the soap is stretching out quite nicely, i predict i should make it till at least December, before i have to make that all important decision as to what new soap i’ll be moving on to.


Thursday, August 18th, 2005

Currently being spun on Tammys electrolla ‘Three in one’ is this fab platter of aural delights.


Thursday, August 18th, 2005

In preparation for our visit to New York, i have started to trial a few outfits and moves for my time there, below is a pic of me on our Balcony in Wollongong, practicing swishing out onto our Park Avenue balcony in New York, i would like to thank Tyson for the loan of his dog, and Beryl for the hire of her wig ‘Dahhhh-link i luv ya, but gimme Park Aven-oo’.


Tuesday, August 16th, 2005

While i’m on a roll .. nothing much to be said about this next pic really.


Tuesday, August 16th, 2005

As our trip to the U.S draws ever nearer, friends are starting to show signs of concern about my probable behaviour at the two Paul McCartney concerts i am going to whilst over there. Its no secret that i am a BIG fan, and i become ‘quite’ emotional whenever i’ve been to one of his concerts, or had the opportunity to meet him, most famously after meeting Paul and shaking his hand for the first time, my friends turned to see that i had accomodated most of my entire right hand into my mouth, i feat i have never been able to replicate since.

So it is with a growing sense of joy and enthusiasm that i prepare for my next Paul encounter, my first in twelve years. In the movie ‘I want to hold your hand’ (about a group of mostly screaming teenage female fans trying to meet The Beatles) is a male character called ‘Ringo Klaus’, he is every bit as insane as the screaming girls, some friends have taken to refering to me by this name .. i hope i dont let them down. Below i’ve attached a couple of screen captures of Ringo Klaus in full flight at a concert, i’m currently in training practicing his moves.


Tuesday, August 16th, 2005

Everyone is asking me ‘What are you most looking forward to seeing and doing on your trip to America?’ thats a REALLY hard question, but i’m slowly whittling down my priorities. Definatley in my top five things to see over there are the parading plastic surgery disasters, i want to spend a good few hours just sitting around Rodeo drive watching the passing throng of the ‘stretched people’.

I have a somewhat disturbing facination for people, who commit heinous acts upon their faces and bodys with scalpels, chemicals and just plain old fashion elastic bands all in the name of youth and beauty. One of my favorite ‘stretchy’ people to watch at the moment is Burt Reynolds, his face looks as if he’s in one of those ‘G’ force simulators.


Tuesday, August 16th, 2005

Sniffing around ebay on the weekend, i came across a set of dvd’s of the childrens tv series from the early 1970’s ‘Here come the double deckers’, this totally blew me away!, i hadnt seen or really thought of this show since i first watched it in about 1973 (you do the math) memories came flooding back, i’m not sure if its just me, but i have a pretty good memory and recall, and when something triggers it, it can be pretty vivid. I remember sounds, smells, feelings etc. As soon as i saw these couple of images of the Double deckers, i was transported WAAAAY back.

When i was but a mere nipper, television was a total escape for me, i would become immersed in some parallel reality, the Double deckers was custom made for this escapism. The story revolved around a group of kids Tiger, Brains, Scooper, Sticks, Doughnut, Billie, Spring who had a secret hideaway, it was a big red double decker London bus, this served as the kids club house, and hideaway, from here they got into all sorts of adventures, my favorite character was ‘Sticks’ he was the drummer of the gang, boy how i wanted to hang out with those guys, they really had the ultimate cubby house.

I have a strong memory of being depressed, not sad, i mean REALLY depressed when the series came to an end, they only made seventeen episodes as well. I dont know of anyone else amongst my friends who remembers this show, i seem to have watched a few tv shows that very few others recall, other big shows for me, but that no one else seems to recall are ‘The rupert the bear show’ this wasnt a cartoon, but they used puppets. A couple of other shows i really liked were ‘Hotdog’ (with Jonathan Winters), ‘The Hector projector show’, ‘Comedy capers’, ‘Mack and Myer for hire’ (this last one i dont think anyone else but me watched, or ever saw)

I’m just going to clear my throat and give you a rendition of the Double deckers theme song .. ahem ..

Get on board! Get on board!
Come and join the Double Deckers.
Take a ticket for a journey,
On our double decker London bus.
Ring the bell (ding! ding!),
Toot the horn (honk! honk!),
When you ride with the Double Deckers.
Fun and laughter is what we’re after,
On our double double double decker bus.

You’re aboard! You’re aboard!
You’re aboard with the Double Deckers.
Fun and laughter is what we’re after,
On our double double double decker bus.
La la la! La la la!
La la la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la la,
On our double decker London bus.


Saturday, August 13th, 2005

Years ago there was a band called Jellyfish and in this band was a lad by the name of Jason Falkner amazingly Jason wasnt the front person for this group. The fact that each member was super talented is probably what caused the band to implode after only two albums, it just couldnt contain the talent.
So Jason went solo and i followed after him, he has released two of my favorite albums ever ‘Author unknown’ and ‘Can you still feel’. In 1996 Jason toured Aussie, and it was fantastic to see his solo show at the Anandale pub up in Sydney, it was at this show that i heard ‘Both belong’ for the first time, i was totally floored by this song, and as soon as i got home i set about finding out what this song was and where i could find it, its STILL one of my favorite songs ever. I brought my camera up for the concert, but i was so ‘into’ the show i didnt take half as many pics as i usually do at shows, in a few days i’ll post some more pics of Jason in Sydney, i actually sent Jason at set, but i never heard if he recieved them or not. After the show i hung around the stage and had a beer, before long Jason came out for a bevy as well, with my infamous motto of ‘All arse and no class’ i went up to Jason and introduced myself, we had a really nice chat for ten minutes or so, sitting on the edge of the stage we talked about guitars, Sydney etc i must add Jason also promised me he’d be back the following year for a ‘proper’ tour .. Jason, i’m still waiting, are you listening? :-) Before i headed back home to Wollongong, i got a photo with him as well as getting him to sign my cd. From the first day of hearing Jason it’s been my dream for him to work with Paul McCartney, like Paul, Jason plays ALL the instruments on his cd’s, and not just through synth’s or anything, he is a total virtuoso. You can imagine my glee when earlier this year Jason posted on his web site that he was working with Paul, on Macca’s new solo album. With the release of Pauls album imminent we arent sure if the Jason tracks are on it, or if they will be bonus tracks, whatever .. i just cant wait to hear them, and i cant believe this pair have joined forces, it can only be good.


Friday, August 12th, 2005

As promised, some more images from my archives of the totally fab fashion plate ‘Marta Hari’.

Image 1 Above: A stunning pink twin set, featuring Marta’s patented fur concealing white stockings, please note the white high heels and the clear plastic inflatable chair Marta is lolling about on.

Image 2 Above: Not Marta, but an extra from the show. I’m impressed with anyone wearing ‘Jackie O’ glasses.

Image 3 Above: Not sure, but i think this could be tartan Marta is wearing.

Image 4 Above: Marta scrubs up! i like the disguise of the ‘Lennon’ glasses, what is it with super heroes and tv characters who think by donning a pair of glasses they become unrecognisable?, i also must add that i have come out of anesthetic before, and i’m sure through the ensuing ether haze, that i’ve seen monkeys dressed as doctors in the recovery ward.


Wednesday, August 10th, 2005

Yesterday i had to take my mum and aunty up to Bondi to see a medical specialist, i was sitting in the waiting room and the professor walked out with my mum, he came over, said hello and shook my hand. My aunty then said to me ‘Professor helped deliver you’ .. it was just one of those weird moments in life, shaking the hand of the man who brought me into this world.

Mmmmmm, SPICEY!:

Monday, August 8th, 2005

Last night was Chilli night in the Tingle household, across the top of my invented recipe i have written the following guide for my ‘Tingle Chilli’ and that is, ‘Maximum flavour, to create maximum offence’. My chilli never fails on either front.


Sunday, August 7th, 2005

On my last visit to Melbourne in April, i left one of my jackets behind by mistake, silly me entrusted its safe return to Phillip and Jake. Months later when i wore it out, i was walking through Sydney with a group of friends, i felt something in the pocket, upon reaching in, i pulled out a box of Jakes ‘Stomach cleansing tablets’ ie, high octane laxitives. This was dificult enough to explain away, then last night i wore the jacket again, someone pointed to the top right of the jacket, and sure enough, there was a message from Jake Dymo’d to the lapel .. what other hidden secrets could this item of clothing possibly hold!?


Sunday, August 7th, 2005

After years of waiting, at last my favorite tv show, from when i was a kid, is out on dvd. Not many people remember this show, but those that do have a soft spot for it. Basically it was an adventure show, that starred monkey’s instead of humans, the cool thing was they used to drive cars, play tennis and ride moter bikes etc. Looking back and watching the show now, i’m not too sure PETA would agree with some of the ways the animals were treated, far more cruel however were the clothes, and fashion styles they dressed the stars of the show in. I’ve been capturing screen grabs of some of the best fashion moments from the show, by far ‘Marta Hari’ was the ‘IT’ girl, of the primate world back then. Over the coming weeks, i’ll be featuring some of Marta’s finest sartorial moments. Please pay special attention to Marta’s foot wear, even as a child i was amazed to see a monkey walk in high heels. In the second photo, check out Marta’s funky crocheted hat, the third photo shows that a chenile dressing gown can look pretty cool on a monkey, and the fourth photo shows a stunning example, of the wild high heels Marta used to prance around in .. this pair is silver


Thursday, May 19th, 2005

Part of the deal we got to stay in L.A is a two day pass into Disneyland, i dont think there is anyone on the planet who hasnt dreampt of going to Disneyland at some stage. I have such colourful memories of watching the ‘Mouse factory’ ( Where IS that cassette?) and like a lot of people ‘Disneyland’ on Sunday nights, where channel nine would play a Disney movie or one hour documentary. One of the first big events in my life was when my mum and sister took my niece Michelle and i to Moore park in Sydney to watch ‘Disney on parade’, i wish i still had the program for that, it was so amazing for a kid to watch, i just remember the coulor and Cinderella’s dress was made up of hundreds of small fairy lights. Altho i’m pumped to be going to see Pauls concerts .. i must confess to a healthy inner squeal at the thought of going to Disneyland, especially now that i’m over my fear of wild rides and roller coasters. I imagine once i’m there i’ll be pushing kids out of the lines, running around with my mouse ears and groping at the life size puppet charactors, is it true they have ‘walkers’ to protect them from wayward accosters?.


Thursday, May 19th, 2005

Here’s a seating chart of where i’ll be at Paul’s concert, its in the red area at the side and is marked by a small yellow dot .. ‘Are we there yet?, are we there yet?’


Thursday, May 19th, 2005

The big news since i last dropped a blog, is that Adam and i are heading off to Los Angeles!. I am so totally revved up for this, in the past the furthest i’ve travelled overseas is New Zealand, and call me old fashioned but i just dont think that counts. We’ll be staying in L.A for seven days, the amazing thing is i only found out afterwards that Paul McCartney is doing two concerts in Anaheim the second and third night we are there, not only that but the stadium is only a ten minute walk from where we are staying. Thanks to the generous help of some US Macca fans i’ve got myself a ticket for the first concert, it’s a really good seat as well. Before we go (November the 10th) i’ll make sure to have a ticket for the second show. This is just soooooo exciting.


Thursday, May 19th, 2005

At the moment i’m on a holiday in Melbourne, i arrived yesterday afternoon. Recently on holidays in Queensland i concoured my fear of wild and extreme theme park rides, but not even that could prepare me for yesterdays landing in Melbourne.I’m a pretty good flier, but yesterday just before we touched down i looked up from my book, and thought ‘Hmm, the plane seems to be going a little fast’, before i could squeal ‘Brace! Brace! Brace!’ the rear wheels hit the ground REALLY hard, i then had the sensation of being pulled sideways, the wheels then left the ground, and i was swung back in the opposite direction. Finally the wheels touched down again and the rear of the plane was swaying left to right. It was really weird, i wasnt scared, but i had the definite feeling that things were definately close to being out of control, in fact someone even called out ‘He’s losing it!’, tho i wasnt scared my legs did go to jelly. When we pulled up, i thought ‘Did that really happen?’ but figured it must’nt have been that bad as surely everyone would have been freaking out, but they werent .. in fact no one was talking at all, Hmmmmm. When we got off, the guy in front of me walked up to one of the space waitresses and just sort of stared her down, i think she knew what the score was and said ‘I had a much worse landing in Canberra once’ nice.


Thursday, April 14th, 2005

Melbourne is proving SO much fun, i’m staying in i totally love my trips down here, its pure joy for me just to hang out with friends, i think if you try and ‘do’ the holiday thing, where you cram as much as you can into a limited amount of time, you sometimes miss the best part of chilling out and relaxing, and just ‘being’ with friends.


Thursday, April 14th, 2005

A quantum change occured in my life last night, whilst visiting my friend Dave we ordered in pizza. No big deal i hear you say .. however, for the first time in living memory i could not finish it, in fact i only got through HALF of this pizza, and it was one of the best pizza’s i’ve ever had the pleasure of masticating over. It was a ‘perfect’ veggie pizza, and i buckled, i choked, i flat out couldnt even contemplate mowing through any more than half of it. Is THIS the first sign of me getting old?


Sunday, April 10th, 2005

Venturing out last night to the ‘Greyhound’ in St Kilda, i was cock o’ hoop to find myself in a gay club that that screamed out ‘Greg, you are amongst your own’. I loved this club/pub, the crowd was so mixed, glamour boys, older guys, younger guys and guys wearing suits, but accsesorised with high heels and ‘Patsy’ blonde wigs. Besides the best retro music, the best part of the night was the drag shows, in particular the performer ‘Vivian St James’, Viv’s face has been totally worked over in the best ‘Jocelyn’ style, there really wasn’t much facial movement from the lips up at all!, just awesome .. it’s just dawned on me that Vivian really looks as if she’s been made over to look like a clone of Ivanka Trump. A return trip to the Greyhound is a must.


Sunday, April 10th, 2005

Oh dear .. Tamala is not used to ‘hanging one on’ .. alcohol is bad, except when abused in the company of good friends, trashy music, and even trashier drag shows. Mental note, ‘Do not make this a habit’ (unless in the company of good friends, trashy music and even trashier drag)


Tuesday, March 29th, 2005

Driving home from Sydney on the weekend with Adam, i rong> was pulled into a breath testing bay by the po-lice. The person in front of me drove in a little hesitantly, when i pulled up the constable leant into my window, and motioning towards the car in front of me said, ‘Yeh .. it WAS an Asian woman’. I will say no more.


Thursday, March 17th, 2005

The night after Bob Downe i was back up in Sydney again, Saturday the 12th of March. I met up with Marc at Rockdale and we made our way to Paddington, someone needs to remind me that EVERYTIME i go to Sydney the traffic is a nightmare, i guess where i live, i’m pretty lucky that a traffic jam usually only constitutes two cars bumper to bumper, but up there in Sydney travelling 10 klms’ can take you 3/4 of an hour.

Finding a park up there was another drama altogether, the world is starting to feel a little crowded to me. We met up with Australias answer to the ‘Weeping woman’ Beryl, making our way to the Chauvel cinema it was nice to be reminded that not all cinemas are monster multiplex’s, there are still some lovely and charming independant theatres around, in the lobby we ran into an old friend (mother) Warren, i’m not entirely sure he was totally over Mardi Gras.

Walking into the cinema i spotted a huge poster for the movie ‘Forty thousand horsemen’, this took my eye, as years ago, when he was very young, my dad actually appeared in this film. i remember him telling me how he had to run up one side of a hill dressed as a ‘goody’, then they would change clothes and run down the other side of the hill as a ‘baddie’.

The movie we were there to watch tonight was called ‘The hidden history of homosexual Australia’. I love history and wish that i’d chosen to study that instead of ‘Asian social studies’ .. i mean, what IS that!!??, but i digress. This documentary is one that any Queer Aussie should watch, and i’ wish they would play this in schools. It was really interesting to see an Aussie slant on our local gay culture, instead of being fed European and American gay history. Some of the moivie was pretty sobering, and a lot of it scarey, just the thought that only twenty
years ago homosexuality was decriminalised in New South Wales. To see the oppresession and fear that the community lived under relatively recently was unnerving, and lets not the forget the cruel and brutal coppers, and twisted politicians. The most sobering part of the movie was when they discussed how some people had been jailed for many years for being gay, and that they had been incarcerated in Darlinghurst Jail, which is now a college, but it struck me that this old Jail was only a couple of hundred metres down the road from where we were watching this movie.

After the film we decided to go for a little walk and stomp around Oxford st and Darlinghurst, it would have to be at least three years since i’ve been for a walk around Oxford st, and it was nice to be back, and feel the tinsel and glitter in the air, especially after watching that movie. For the third weekend in a row Beryl dragged us into the North Indian Diner, i’m SURE he has shares in that place, again we were served our now standard order of ‘Korma slops’.

A quick bit of shopping was done, and then we had to let Beryl go free, he needed to revisit a bit of his own hidden history i think. Below are a couple of snaps from the night, Paddington at sunset and a ‘wall doodle’ in Surry Hills. The last pic is a still from ‘Forty Thousand Horsemen’


Thursday, March 17th, 2005

“You’ll look distinguished”. Well, thats what well meaning people say to me when i lament the greying of my scone. I’ve started to grow back my sideburns, and i’ve just remembered why i shaved them off in the first place about a year ago, they are GREY!. What to do?, do i get the brown marker out, and colour them in a bit, for a ‘Texta touch up’?, do get a bottle of brown dye and colour just them?, what about the rest of the grey on my head?, if i just do the sidey’s then it will look bizzare, is a Toni perm the answer?. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated .. forget it Phillip, i’m NOT shaving it.


Thursday, March 17th, 2005

On the 3rd of March Adam and i ventured up to Sydney to visit our friend Beryl, we met Beryl in the art gallery, where photographs of parts of him were on display, as part of a Mardi Gras exhibition. At the gallery we caught up with Marc and Greg, we were all distressed and disturbed by the ‘art’ that confronted us, it was digital (as in photography) manipulation of photographs, of various parts of peoples bodies. We done the gallery ‘thing’ of nibbling offered food, and scoffing ‘woine’, whilst peering over our glasses at the hanging manipulations. So enough it was time to scamper up the road for dinner, but not before we said goodbye to the artist, as we all stod on the street in the sprinkling rain. Seeing we were all there just for Beryl (Scott), the artist asked aloud ‘So, have you all been there?’, meaning with Scott, a bellowing wail of ‘NO!!!!’ could be heard echoing up the street, as all within earshot of the artist let it be known, that Beryl had not been sullied by any of us. It was a fantastic night .. all stormy and wild. Just before we got to the North Indian Diner (our favorite and CHEAP restaraunt) i turned and saw the most awesome post storm sky, i whipped out the handy digital, and snapped the pic you can see at the end of this post. After dinner we jumped into the ‘Viagra Mobile’ (Beryls car), and drove up to the Valhalla cinema in Glebe. We met up with Mariana and Barbs for the last night of the Mardi Gras film festival. All the way home, and down the mountain, the storm and lightning didnt let up for a minute, being an old storm chaser from way back, this was one of the best i’d seen.


Tuesday, March 15th, 2005

A lovely Friday night was spent in Sydney with Skype scammer Tyson, and blurter artiste’ extrordinair Beryl Motion. We went up to Enmore to watch Bob Downe (the prince of Polyester) in his latest show ‘iBob’, i managed to time the parking so we pulled up right out front of the theatre, soon enough Tyson was recognised on the street by one of his myriad of on line stalkers, we didnt know it at the time tho, as any ‘Pro stalker’ will tell you, you never walk up to the stalked to make yourself known. Before long we found Beryl entertaining a group of men on the street, charming chaps they were, i’ve met and partied with some of them in the past, along with Beryl at various dance parties. A desision had to be made, ‘where to eat?’ we were all fanging, we narrowed the choice down to ‘Yak scat kebabs’ at some Puruvian diner, or ‘Korma slops’ from an Indian diner, the slops won out, so we woofed down a $6.00 plate each and scampered across the road to the theatre, each of us secretly concerned that cheap Indian food may not have been the wisest choice to eat, before being stuck in a crowded theatre for three hours .. well, i wasnt that worried, i mean when you’re amongst friends .. Bob took to the stage, and soon enough had us hooting with laughter at his take on all things retro and tacky. Bob is one of those performers who you watch, and you see little bits of yourself come out in his act. At the end of the show i looked down to see a recording device secreted between Tysons legs, he has since told me that due to ‘imperfect recording conditions’, the recording which he was going to use sections of on his net cast, was pretty much unusable. Personally i think the gut full of Indian slops he woofed down before the show, could have had something to do, with making certain sections of the recording ‘unbroadcastable’. The final image of the lady in from of us, desperatley trying to clap along in time with everyone else is one i cant shake from my mind, it amazes that people can be that incrediblely uncoordinated, try as she might she just couldnt get into a rythem. After the show Bob appeared in the foyer of the theatre to sign copies of his cd, Beryl decided that this was one he wanted to add to his K-tell cd stacker, so he lined up for the ‘meet and greet’, Tyson and i were standing about four metres away when we heard above the din of the crowd Bob screech ‘Beryl!!??’, it wasnt the scream of recognition, more just a cosmic bonding, the sort of thing that happens when two like minds meet. it was time for me to get home, i had to double back and do this all again tomorrow.


Tuesday, March 15th, 2005

Howdy pardners, scanned up a couple more pics from Olivia’s Aussie visit, these two came from the print version of ‘The Australian’. Havent seen this pic of George and Dhani on stage together before, this was taken in Japan during the 1991 tour.


Thursday, March 10th, 2005

Whilst writing up these reports on Olivia’s vist to Australia over the last couple of weeks,
it brought back a lot of memories from when i met Yoko during her visit in 2000. My Best girlfriend (Frantique Rotalacta) and i were lucky enough to attend two events during her stay, Frantique takes up the story ..

Greetings my little avante garde decoupages. This is your on-the-spot reporter Frantique, reporting to you live from inside a black bag, goodness I feel like an unwanted kitten in here going for its first and last swimming lesson. Last week I had the distinct pleasure (as always) of finally meeting my role model, Yoko Ono.

The Yokster was here as a guest for the Bienalle (I think it’s pronounced “Bi-anal”) .. whatever, a kindly little vixen fixed me up with a couple of tickets to the press launch, and for the following night’s “Happening”, so with that sad little minx Greg Swan in toe, we hoofed it off to the press launch on Thursday the 25th of May 2000 at the “Museum of Contemporary Art”.

As ever, I waltzed in and took over as if I owned the place, and let’s face it, with all the taxes “ROTALACTA ENTERPRISES tm” pays I probably do!. We made our way upstairs to the press area to hustle a good posie so we could get some good photos. Greg looked an absolute tool wearing a trench coat and fedora hat, complete with a little bit of cardboard with the word “Press” written on it, which he had stuck in the brim of his hat looking all the world like a payless Clark Kent (but with the heart of Mr Mixpikalixx).

It wasn’t long before Yoko made her appearance, and floored this jaded old slapper with her perfect skin and complexion. I tell you the woman does not look a day over thirty five!! totally stunning. Yoko stood there with the other artists as the speeches were made, and smiled every now and then for the snapping hordes. She didn’t make a speech, but rather stood there for a good 25 minutes while the yapping went on. As soon as this was done Yoko was ushered into another gallery for a couple of quick TV interviews. Then us press and photographers were allowed in to get a couple of portrait shots.

Being accustomed more to being in front of the camera, I wasn’t prepared for the rudeness of these wankers and wenches that call themselves photographers, luckily I had a stern whisk with me and so I lashed out at their shins, garnering myself and Mr. Swan a place a little closer to the action. Soon enough, Yoko tired of all this pushing and shoving and done a runner.
Being a dedicated fan, I recognized the man standing alone at the back of all this hoo-ha as Sam Havadtoy, Yoko’s boyfriend of many years. Upholding my motto of all arse and no class, I went straight up to Sam and made myself known to him. He proved to be utterly charming, but soon had to leave and try to find Yoko, who had bolted through another door to do some more press interviews.

Before he left, I asked him if he would kindly give Yoko a copy of our fanzine (with Sean on the cover of course), He said that he would and then made a dignified exit.
We then made our way downstairs. It didn’t take that freebie sniffing Greg long to find the complimentary muffins, which he proceeded to woof down at a great rate of knots, then just to our left, we saw a man swirling around the room, smashing things, grasping his neck, choc chips hurtling out of his nostrils and finally projectile vomiting onto a plate glass window. At the conclusion of this wondrous scene, both Greg and I let out hearty “bravo’s!! .. more, more!!” only to later discover that this wasn’t a piece of performance art as we had thought, but rather a poor unfortunate man, who had a bit of complimentary muffin go down the wrong way .. goodness me but you get that.

After that little display, we decided to leave the gallery as soon as possible. Outside, that celebrity spotting Greg soon sussed out Yoko’s car, and we both decided to wait to see her leave. Soon enough, we saw her and Sam walk out, they looked at the car and indicated to the driver that they were going to walk into the city, so straight away we thought “nothing ventured, nothing gained” – so we followed them a short distance until they stopped at a pedestrian crossing.

I didn’t want to follow them all around like some of those creepy freaks do to celebrities, so I sidled up to Yoko and said, “Hi, Yoko, could I please have your autograph?” Sam looked at me and then at Yoko and said, “Yoko, this is Frantique and Greg, they gave us the ‘Across the Universe’ fanzine inside.”

I can only judge people how I find them, and Yoko was nothing less than totally kind, friendly and accommodating to us fans. We had a little chat, then I asked if I could take a photo of Greg and I with her. Yoko said, “Sure, why not!” With that, we snapped a few piccies (both getting a pic with her) and thanked her. We then let them go their merry way, tho it was somewhat sad to see them followed up the street by some dollar-driven Paparazzi.

The following night (Friday), I was lucky enough to snag a ticket to Yoko’s “Happening” at the Opera House in Sydney. It was held in the small space known as “The Studio” and I felt right at home at this event .. it was bizarre, but amazing.
As soon as the doors opened, I bolted in so I could sit front row center. The event was also being broadcast on the net which made it that little more special. I turned up wearing my best lime green Osti frock, paisley crochet shawl, gold open toe court heels and a lame’ clutch purse. I was hoping to be digitally broadcast around the world, as I did my best Sharon Stone moves trying to lure the attention of the cameramen. It really was one of those “you just had to be there events.” I could try to explain, but it would be futile.

Yoko came out and using a chair as a prop started a discussion on “comfort zones.” Those of us in the audience with our heads out of our arses understood Yoko was talking in metaphors, but the hoi poloi wanker art crowd, who formed the majority of the smallish audience just didn’t get it. It’s sooooo sad that people don’t understand the amazing humor in Yoko’s work. One nitwit even yelled out “Claptrap”.

It was really fab for this old performance artist (readers who have attended one of my regular shaving or body fat exchange events knows just what an artist “I” am) to be part of a Yoko “Happening”, as she performed the classic “String Piece” as well as “Smash a Vase Piece.” The best part for me was the question and answer segment where, as I said, the people who “got it” asked fun and appropriate questions, whilst the north shore “Lovee” crowd were looking for Yoko to give straight “literal” answers.

It’s such a disappointment that more Yoko fans weren’t allowed into this event, as it was dominated by the “rich art” crowd. At the end, after Yoko smashed a beautiful, large and expensive-looking vase, and the crowd had finished wrapping itself in wool (to create a sense of togetherness), we were invited by Yoko to come and collect a piece of the smashed vase, and we all promised to meet again in ten years time to reassemble it. With that, Yoko was gone into the dark.

All in all, it was a fantastic, and very funny evening in every sense of the word, This is Frantique Rotalacta signing off from all things arty and farty .. well more farty than arty actually. Until next time when I ruffle the sheets of life, I bid you a fond adieu.


Thursday, March 10th, 2005

I’ve managed to find a few more pics of Olivia during her stay in Australia.


Wednesday, March 9th, 2005

Just recieved the artwork for my new album of toe tapping hits that will be released in a couple of weeks, look out for it in your local Kmart.


Sunday, March 6th, 2005

Not sure if this is just a Wollongong phenomenon but over the past couple of months i’ve started to notice pairs of shoes dangling from power lines in the streets, spotting the first pair i thought ‘Oh that looks funny’ a few weeks later i spotted another pair, and another, and another! these arial podiatric decorations are now covering about a 20klm radius, my studies have so far shown that by and large ‘trainers’ seem to be the preferred danglers, how long before i drive down Crown Street to find a pair of gold sensible court heels swaying upon the high voltage cables?.