Archive for January, 2006

TICKLE ME:

Tuesday, January 31st, 2006

Ahhhh, the America i love. While visiting the U.S we had the chance to visit the site of this truely tacky and sad incident, THIS is the sort of thing that will always draw me back to the U.S.

October 24, 2005; Page A1
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Last Wednesday, the furry red Muppet named Elmo learned that Hollywood Boulevard is a long, long way from Sesame Street.
In plain sight of children and tourists, Elmo — or at least, a man named Don Harper in a knockoff Elmo costume — was arrested here by the Los Angeles Police Department. Elmo was taken down by a special task force created to combat a growing nuisance in the Hollywood tourist district: famous costumed characters who try to be photographed with tourists and sometimes badger them relentlessly for tips.

LAPD officers, posing as clueless foreign tourists in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater, also busted Mr. Incredible, the superhero from the animated hit “The Incredibles,” as well as a man dressed as the villain from the “Scream” movie franchise. The icons were arrested and could face charges ranging from illegal vending to aggressive begging.

But today, police estimate anywhere from 70 to 80 characters work the one-block stretch that includes not only the Chinese Theater, but also the Kodak Theater (home of the Academy Awards) and a new retail and entertainment center called Hollywood & Highland.
“When I first started here 13 years ago, you had Charlie Chaplin hanging around [the] Chinese Theater, and that was it,” says Leron Gubler, president and chief executive of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce. “Now, they’re multiplying like rabbits.”

The characters — have gotten more aggressive both with tourists and each other. Fights erupt over precious sidewalk space, especially when two of the same characters show up. Characters grab tourists as they walk down the street. Some of the scarier costumed entertainers jump out at the crowd and frighten children. Perhaps most worrisome is the practice of demanding tips from foreign tourists who don’t know the custom, language or currency.

Mr. Harper, the 40-year-old Elmo, says he was set up by the cops. But upon returning to his spot a day after his arrest, he conceded that things are tense these days among the characters, who form cliques and alliances to defend their turf and make money. Mr. Harper, for example, says his Elmo is a foe of Batman and Superman, but in cahoots with Mr. Incredible, SpongeBob SquarePants and at least one of the half-dozen Spider-Men who prowl the street.

THE TWANG HEARD AROUND THE WORLD:

Sunday, January 29th, 2006

A few weeks ago I splurged and brought myself a DVD recorder, the best thing about this is how easy it is to transfer old video tapes to DVD. At last count I had over 670 hours of video tape of all sorts of things I’ve taped over the years, to teach myself how to use this new machine I thought I should dig out some interesting stuff and have a play around with it.

The first thing I reached for was my old episodes of ‘Pot of gold/Pot luck’,
this was an amateur talent show that showcased some truly hideous performances, but best of all one of the judges was Bernard King, Bernard was merciless in his judging and no one was spared his barbs. After transferring the show to DVD I have been going through the episodes getting screen captures of some of the contestants.

The first one I’m featuring was a guy called Todd Rixon, he was a dancer .. of sorts, flailing and prancing around the stage, he was letting fly with a few high kicks until one was a little too high, in an instant he had snapped his ham string muscle.

Photo # 1 The twang heard around the world, as Todd goes for one high kick too many and comes unstuck when his hamstring gives way

Photo # 2 Here we see Todd spiraling out of control as he bravely attempts to uphold the adage ‘The show must go on’, alas as we can see by the contorted feet and body in mid spasm Todd was only going one place, and that was down.

Photo # 3 The greatest indignity of all, poor Todd having to be held up by host Ernie Sigley, what a trouper Todd was, before his final collapse and acknowledgement of defeat when he realized his legs no longer worked, he tried to incorporate some Michael Jackson ‘Beat it-esque’ hand moves to deflect attention from his flagging legs. Bernard, in a rare moment of kindness realized you cant kick a man when there is a very real chance he may never dance again, so he kindly offered up a score of 20 sympathy points.

COOL CHANGE FOR MARTA:

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

The last of Marta for today, with the seasons changing faster than Jocelyne Wildenstein’s face, i thought today we would feature Marta in a fetching winter creation, i know we have a few months to go, but if you want to be ahead of the field then you better get copying, and knitting, to emulate Marta’s look before every two bit slapper is pulling on the winter woolies.

Photo # 1

Marta shows that a jumper can never be too tight, or too green.

Photo # 2

Here Marta proves that red and green CAN be seen, even if you’re not going to the snow this season follow Marta’s lead and carry skis and stock’s with you at all times, the word here is accessories.

Photo # 3

Never mind you wont be within 500 kilometers of snow this year, THESE are the glasses to be seen wearing around town this winter, and i dont mean to be tiresome but once again Marta scores a hole in one by matching her jumper with mint green earings.

FASHION PLATE:

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

While we’re on the subject of fashion, i’d like to introduce you all to ANOTHER Beryl. This is the charactor played by Leila Hayes on the old Aussie soap opera ‘Son’s and Daughters’. Beryl was (in)famous for her .. ahem, fashion sense, even all those years ago i recoiled in subdued horror at some of the clothes Beryl wore on this show.

Would it be giving too much away to confess that i used to tape the show and edit together Beryls fashion faux pas?, i recently came across this wonderous 45 minute tape and transferred it to DVD, you can NEVER have Beryl in too good quality. Along with Marta Hari i will be featuring more of Beryl’s fashions in the future, as if you needed proof of what a total freak i am, i have attached a couple of screen captures below from my prized ‘Highlights of Beryl’ dvd, the other picture is a publicity photo of Beryl taken dangerously close to http://melbourneloft.com

CRAWFORD PRODUCTION:

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

For whatever bizzare reason our regional tv station here in Wollongong WIN 4 has decided to start playing reruns of classic Aussie cop shows and drama’s at 3.00am each morning, and they have a different show every day of the week, so far we’ve had the ‘Sullivan’s’ ‘Division 4’ ‘Holiday island’ ‘Matlock’ and ‘Skyways’ (still waiting for the episode featuring a VERY young Kylie and Jason to be shown) better spark up the old vcr and catch these while i can.

WORKING GIRL:

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

Look at the stance, look at the colors, look at the attitude, everything about these photo’s say ‘I’m in control here’.

WHAT HE SAID:

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

‘Spose there wasnt enough room on the guy’s
t-shirt to say what he really wanted to say, still .. short and to the point does the trick.

MARTA SUMMER COLLECTION 2006:

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

It’s been awhile since i’ve featured some of everyone’s favorite fashion plate primate Marta Hari’s fashion’s.

Without further ado, i’d like to present Marta’s summer ensemble ..

Photo # 1

Features Marta working the golden sands, you can see she’s an old fashioned girl who likes her polka dot bikini.

Photo # 2

Look out! diamonte earings at the beach!?, but thats just SO Marta isnt it?, i dont think a photo exists without Marta donning some form of ear furniture. I’m struck by the bold metalic frames, always a risk in the searing hot sun, but Marta put’s fashion before pain, the headwear has me puzzled, is it a Mexican theme, or is it a minimalist Melbourne cup effort? no matter, it works. lastly, may i draw your attention to Marta’s Cindy Crawford-esque beauty spot.

FREEDOM:

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

I have this clipping on my notice board at home, i get pretty disheartend when i see the complacency that has overrun the gay community not only here in Aussie but world wide, not that i’m judging too harshly, our community is tired, battle scarred and bruised in the Neocon world we now live in, it’s an interesting, yet scarey .. bordering on terrifying time we now live in, and people my age (40) are at the right age to really notice the change, it was only recently .. maybe less than ten years ago, where it seemed we were moving forward with rights, relationship acknowledgement, freedom, sense of community.

We were on a roll, but now over the past few years we have had to watch as this has started to grind to a halt, as the world has shifted into an oppresive conservative age. This has all happend so quick, and it’s especially noticable down here in Aussie, where gay rights and legislation are being repealed!?, still what do you expect when something as basic as workers rights are being smashed and levelled on a daily basis.

Still, what i cling to is the notion that ‘The tide go’s in, the tide go’s out’ and that this madness wont spiral out of control and people will remember what we had and how far we had come, and then gasp it back before too much more is lost.

It will take three things for this to happen, people (Mr, Ms amd Mrs Joe Average) will have to be ..

* Less fearful of what the government feeds us

* Less greedy

* Less complacent.

This is a serious Tammy signing off.

BERYL:

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

Right now i was supposed to be visiting Melbourne, but due to one thing and another i couldnt get there, the big disappointment for me missing the trip was i wont be going on an adventure with my old friend and dance party partner Beryl, we recently discovered that one of our shared heroes ‘Rose Porteous’ has moved to Toorak in Melbourne, for as long as i can remember Beryl and i have plotted and planned a meeting with Rose, but it was somewhat hindered by the fact that Rose lived in Perth.

Beryl and i have laid some ground work, including meeting Roses husband, but alas still no Rose contact for us.

I’m hoping that while Beryl is in Melbourne he’ll be able to make contact with Rose, or at the very least confirm her location.

Tho not as professional as me at celebrity stalking, Beryl has done okay on occasion, as the photo of Beryl with Tonya Harding below proves, the other photo is of Rose during one of her infamous fashion parades.

FREAK OUT:

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

This story was printed in our local paper the ‘Illawarra Mercury’ and no, it wasnt April fools day.

B O – DERANT:

Tuesday, January 24th, 2006

B O-derant: Once again change is forcing me into financial straits, i’ve been driven into another round of mass purchasing after Rexona decided to change the recipe of my favorite underarm deoderant, oh that all the worlds problems should be so trivial i hear you bleat, but for me this is a disaster, it can take months or years to find the right spray for the right person.

With my old faithful i have 24 hour protection from odours, no staining, no itch .. alas now some insane person at Rexona HQ has decided that well enough wasnt good enough, so they have changed the recipe for the nook and cranny CFC propelled whiffsome mist, the ‘New and improved’ spray is nothing less than vulgar, i recoiled in horror upon my first squirt, it smells like one of those strawberry scented toilet deodourisers, like a fruit bowl has exploded under your arm. By the end of the first day of my trialling the new spray i fully expected to find a nest of wasps under my arms.

In true Tammy fashion i went out in search of the last stocks of the prized canisters, i found one little store that had a few last cans of old stock, so i swept them up and plonked down the cash.

I know i’m only delaying the enevitable, but really .. some things in life shouldnt be screwed with, thats underarm, toothpaste and soap.

In the below you can also spot my present from Adam of the ‘Oral-B ultrasonic toothbrush’ have you ever had one of these in your mouth? i suggest you try it.

VITAMIN B:

Friday, January 20th, 2006

While staying down the coast Adam noticed this sign by the indoor pool, i understand the no diving symbol, but what does the one showing a caricature of someone pulling the back of their shorts down ban?

WHEN TEENS TURN BAD:

Friday, January 20th, 2006

Another of my early crushes (besides the perfectly moulded ‘Big Jim’) was Leif Garrett, i really had to keep that one under wraps. I read yesterday that Leif was arrested for fair evasion on the subway and drug possesion, i got to thinking about all those people who become huge stars and celebrities for one, maybe two years and then POW!, it’s all over and best gig they can land is Celebrity big brother or something equally as humiliating. How do these people make money?, what do they do with their days?.


SHELLEY:

Thursday, January 19th, 2006

This week the world lost the feisty actress Shelly Winters, i’ve always had a soft spot for Shelly and even at a young age recognised her camp value in the Poseidon adventure, one of my all time favorite movies .. love the Irwin Allen disaster movies. I remember when i was pretty young watching Bette Midler do an impersonation of Shelly’s charactor drowning in the Poseidon Adventure accompanied by her yelps of ‘Manny! Manny!’. I must thank Tyson
for turning up the attached photo for me. Now .. how do i get my hands on one of these Shelly dolls?

U.S.AIIIIII:

Thursday, January 19th, 2006

Whilst visiting Los Angeles one of the big thrills for me was getting to visit a heap of recording studios where most of my favorite music has been recorded, i’ll be posting more photos later of different studios, here i am at ‘Ocean way’ studios 6050 W Sunset Blvd, this is where some of ‘Good vibrations’ was recorded in the 60’s and where most recently Paul McCartney recorded his best ever solo album ‘Chaos and creation in the backyard’ i’ve attached a screen capture of Paul arriving at the studio as well as some i took.



BEST EVER PRESENTS:

Thursday, January 19th, 2006

Scanning ebay and the toys on there i came across two toys that were my absolute favorites to recieve when i was a kid, the first being a ‘Shaker Maker’ where you got to make junket/jelly like wobbly statues which would dry hard and you then painted up, which i might add NEVER came out looking like the ones on the box, however my all time favorite toy i got as a child was the ‘Big Jim Country Camper’ .. THIS was the creme del la creme of toys, oh how i wish i still had this, my friend Marc still has his pristine AND still in it’s original box (Adam if you’re reading this .. here is a *hint* for my next birthday) i used to be mad on collecting action figures, i had them all GI Joe (with REAL beard) Action Jackson and hottest of all ‘Big Jim’, man he was one handsome piece of plastic, there was a bearded model or a clean shaven one, i of course went for the clean shaven one, i even tried to shave my bearded GI Joe with TRAGIC results, it looked as if he’d been attacked by a razor blade wielding maniac .. which i guess in a way he was. Do you think it’s possible for a kid to have a crush on an action figure? Big Jim still looks pretty good for something that sprung from a Mattel mould.




SEA CHANGE:

Thursday, January 19th, 2006

Sea Change: Last weekend Adam and i took the opertunity to get away down the coast for a couple of days, for both of us it was a welcome return to old stomping ground, Adam used to go to Lak Conjola and i went to Burril Lake for our summer holidays as kids. It brought back a flood of memories for me as i walked around the camping ground we used to go to, pointing out every signifigant tree and blade of grass to Adam and probably boring him into a stupor along the way. The bonus of the trip was meeting up with our ‘old’ friend Beryl who was holidaying with friends nearby, we were lucky enough to bum a dinner invitation and spent a beautiful night having dinner outdoors with good company, the next day we got to show Beryl around some of the places we knew down there, by a strange twist my sister and neice were staying in a holiday house just up the road from ‘Rancho Beryl’ so we got a visit in there as well, this was fun as the place where my sister was staying was like a little time warp from the sixties, right down to the original furnishings and decorations, i’ve attached a few photos taken in the house, i even got a pic of a retro fly strip from the 70’s left haning next to the orange/red/pink-ish velvet curtains. If you look closely at the pic of Beryl, Adam and i next to the lake you can see the water rippling behind us, thats because an out of control dog was in the water behind us and you can see delicate Beryl is poised ready to squeal.




MAKING WHOOPEE:

Monday, January 9th, 2006

Last night we continued to rifle through our now sagging Santa bags, to pick out the last of the lollies and dangerous toys. Adam pulled out a Whoopee cushion from his, and proceeded to give a demonstration on the fine art of ‘Faux Flatulance’. unfortunately the goiters escape nozzle sealed tight upon inflation, and when Adam launched himself at the faulty air bladder arse first, the resulting explosive, stinging crack that tore from Adams posterior region, had everyone in the room wincing. We all knew the goiter had ruptured and torn apart, like some early experimental diragable.

Poor Adam launched out of the seat, and the stench of cheap, heated, and traumatised rubber filled the room. Below is a photo of the exit wound on the traumatised goiter.