Archive for April, 2007

Saturday, April 28th, 2007


First up, that vile, rancid excuse we have for a prime minister, a total hypocritical moron plonker John Howard (or ‘Banzai’ as i like to call him, IE a little bush) the tool has been bleating again about how disgusting Big Brother is ..

” During last year’s “turkey slap” furore, the Prime Minister called for the reality TV hit to be axed.

He said yesterday his views had not changed, and TV shows should “err on the side of good taste”.

And then this ..

But Mr Howard said he had no sway over the shows direction.

Riiiiiight, so lets not mention the ‘Glass house’ shall we.

“Big Brother is an atrocious program,” he said.”

And watching your amoral posturing during televised Parliment isnt?

All the while Howards defence forces are mass advertising during the show to lure the poor young suckers who watch Big Brother and fall for the glamorisation of the defence forces (not saying we don’t need them) but what a festered tool this man is, berating people for watching this, but happy to have them join up his forces to go and fight in his unjust warfare .. we have spray for annoying insects like flies, why cant we have one for Howard? .. also shit for brains, instead of putting so much thought and bluster into reality television people are watching, how about putting a little thought into the people .. the humans you have incarcerated in detention centres? .. OH COME THE REVOLUTION!!

Before i wrap this up, please allow me to take aim at the lumbering carcass that is the equally rancid and atrocious Amanda Vanstone, who was our Immigration minister and proudly presided over the inhumane Australian refugee detention centres, slurry guts Amanda was recently shafted from her cabinet position causing a few insane and certifiable liberals to shed a tear or two at the loss of their poster girl, of course most people with half a brain knew she would be looked after and was this announced as Australia’s ambassador to Italy, upon the storm of protests the vile buzzard had this to say ..

> A day after she was appointed to the role, Ms Vanstone yesterday defended her move, saying she had earned it through a long history of public service.

> “I would say to taxpayers of Australia, I’ve been in Parliament 22 years,” she told ABC radio.

No Amanda, a lowly paid nurse who has healed, bathed, comforted the ill and dying deserves something like this, an ambulance driver etc etc, but not a highly paid and benefit ridden ex pollie like you.

> Prime Minister John Howard defended the posting, saying Ms Vanstone would be a success in her new role.

> “Amanda’s very adaptable and she has a great sense of humour and she’s the sort of person who moves quickly on to the next phase of her life,” he said.

Great! Amanda has a great sense of humour, i mean why wouldn’t the buzzard be laughing!? and her visits to the detention centres must have really been shits and giggles for her.

The salacious Amanda.

Bon voyage Amanda.

Wednesday, April 25th, 2007


Tuesday, April 24th, 2007


There is no denying it, we are tramps for selective reality tv, usually the shows that involve nudity (Big Brother) or guessing which contestant is gay (Australian idol) or even better something that combines the two! so it was on Sunday that the masses gathered at ‘Tingle Manor’ for the 2007 launch of ‘Big Brother’ Adam sparked up the big screen which seemed to spark up our harsh judgements of all who crossed the screen, including the in between adverts. As is also tradition an aray of food stuffs were brought out to be consumed, this included everything from faux meat (PAL Meaty Bites) in stroganoff, under defrosted cheese cake, starburst jubes, Coke Zero, beak pecked eggs, and Tysons patented rancid, weavel ridden, toxic and expired desert in the form of powder and eggs in a cup to make an ‘Insto muffin’ which as you can see from the photo below looks for all the world like a flaccid turd in a cup. Thankfully Phillip escaped the house before he had to bare witness to our beloved microwave being violated with this gooey display of culinary terrorism.

Thanks to Tyson (a poor mans Annie Leibovitz) for the photo’s below.

NQR muffin: ahhh yes, here we see the results of the muffin in a cup experiment, perhaps he should have tested this muffin on an animal before Adam took it strait on for human consumption.

Big screen: Let me count the ways how i love thee big screen.


Saturday, April 21st, 2007

Thanks to Claustral for the above photo.

Over the last few days i’ve been moving some stuff out
of my old room at my mums house, under the dust and
spider webs i found a pile of my old music magazines
from the late 70’s/early 80’s, i was totally blown
away when i found my collection of clippings and
magazines on the Aussie band ‘Jimmy and the boys’

I hope you all remember this
outrageous band, they were wild, out of control but in looking back they were a great band. Their shows were equal parts theatre and punk, i
was, and AM, devoted to their cross dressing
keyboard player ‘Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth’

Joylene used to faux disembowel herself on stage using
offal, all the while Iggy the lead singer would be
burning baby dolls around her.

In 1980 Joylene ran for the senate and i remember my
sister who worked for the electrol commision at the
time keeping me up to date with Joylenes progress, i
just found the below info on the net, Joylene v’s
Fred Nile!! (Where are you now Joylene!? we need you in
the senate now more than ever!)


NEW SOUTH WALES 3,184,997 enrolled, 2,999,196
(94.2%) voted
Five senators to be elected: Quota for election
Fred Nile CTA 110,940
04.1 Group A

Joylene Hairmouth 4,334
00.2 Q:0.010

2nd count: McClelland’s 754,205 surplus votes
Nile 430 (00.1) 111,370
Hairmouth 31 (00.0) 4,365
> 754,205 2,717,858

Classic!! over four thousand votes for a drag queen
way back in 1980!, remember .. this was way
before Priscilla, The sum of us, Queer as folk etc, Joylene
was at the forefront of all that came after.

I remember as a fourteen year old sitting up in the
school library with my friend Vinnie making up ‘How to
vote’ pamphlets for Joylene with a drawing of her on
the front, i absolutely mastered colouring in Joylenes
patented beehive curved wig (‘The Blade’ as we called it)
somewhere during one of my moves i lost the last of
these drawings, i still had one up until a couple of
of years ago, i remember one
of the policies was ‘Put a scone in parliment’

I think i even wrote a song about her, one of the lines
was ‘She’s the queen of the queens’.

To this day whenever mum comes back from the hairdresser
and she’s worried her hair is a little over teased, mum
will ask us ‘It’s not too Joylene is it?’

My friend Ves once told me of a game .. ‘You should have
known you were gay when …. ‘ where you think back
and list the obvious signs, when i think back, how did
i kid myself that people didnt know i was a flaming
queen! a fourteen year old becoming politically active
and aware by supporting a disembowling drag queen!!??

I also found a heap of cassettes at mums that i’d
taped using a little tape machine i’d set up in front
of the tv speaker, they were full of Bette Midler and
Debbie Harry interviews! and i DO remember my
mum saying to me once ‘Dont you think you should like
younger girls?’ .. seriously another ‘You should have
known’ moments.

Please enjoy my humble little tribute to someone who
touched a closeted young queen in Wollongong with her
guts and glory at a time when Australia was a lot harsher place ..

Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth ..

Below: This is a screen capture from the ‘I’m not like everybody else’ video, i love Joylenes Christine Mcvie wig here.

Below: Screen captures from the video for ‘Product of your mind’ i think i remember reading at the time that this was filmed at WIN 4 studios in Wollongong, i remember being quite excited when i heard that .. being a Gong boy and all, this promo is most amazing for the mere fact that never at any other time was Joylenes ‘Blade’ wig so majestically displayed, there are a couple of photos below that capture the true splendour of the beserk cranio bush.

BELOW: I just have to comment on the screen capture below, just look at the confidence in Joylene, she looks like nothing in the world could take her on, not even Gamera or Ghidra on speed, the ‘Blade’ wig is fully extended and shown here for the weapon it was .. a weapon of fashion, extended like the arch of a peacocks tail. Please take note in this clip how Joylene attacks the keyboard with stabs of her hands, i cant help but feel Joylenes style of playing was somewhat influenced by the clips of the keyboard player in Lancelot Link and the Evolution Revolution

Below: A still from the ‘They wont let my girlfriend talk to me’ video, to me Joylene looks just like Maggie Dence who played Aunty Rose Sullivan in the tv series of the same name

Below: Maggie Dence (I need a pic of her as Rose Sullivan so you can see what i mean)

Below: Joylene really was the ultimate rock chick.

Below: Cabaret Joylene.

Below: An example of my Joylene art.

Below: Joylene the minx.

Below: ‘Joylene Unlimited’ Hmmmmm, i think Donnie Sutherland who hosted Sounds Unlimited must have had a soft spot for Joylene as i can recall at least a couple of interviews with Joylene on that show (OH to have had a video recorder in those days) as you can see by the photo producer Allan Carr was on the show once with Joylene, and even (gulp) got to don her famous ‘Blade’ wig.

Below: Joylene more recently with Vanessa Wagner, proving she is still all class and beauty.

Below: My favorite photo of our beloved Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth, Thank you Joylene from the heart of my bottom, for without realising it at the time you helped form, nurture and encourage that part of me that likes to dance around and step outside the square, while others are content to stay inside it and never feel the joy of being unshackled from societies mores.

Not sure of the names of the photographers, i know Bob King took a lot of Joylene, please contact me so i can give credit.

Saturday, April 21st, 2007


I’m glad to say i was never one of those negative nellies who used to rag out the Aussie band Silverchair by dismissing them as merely ‘Nirvana in pyjamas’ from their first single i knew there was something special going on, their new cd ‘Young Modern’
is just amazing, i really cant remember the last time i put a cd on and had it on constant repeat, this cd proves that the band are world contenders and that they (in particular Daniel) have come into their own, to quote old Molly the mollusk ‘Do yourself a favour’ and race out and get this cd, it is so eclectic, and can i just be completely superficial and say drummer Ben Gillies is one of the most naturally hot guys i’ve ever laid eyes on, do yourself a favour indeed.

Saturday, April 21st, 2007


Saturday, April 21st, 2007


It’s now almost tradition for me to go to Melbourne and get addicted to one of the tv series that Phillip is watching, i almost extended one holiday just so i could watch more episodes of Sex in the city with the boys, alas tonight here in Wollongong we’ll be watching the last ever episode of ‘The West Wing’ .. what will become of my Saturday nights now with no distraction of weather or not Josh and Donna will hook up (He doesnt deserve her, you know that dont you?)

Possibley the most fantastic thing about my trip to Melbourne was the discovery that David Jones posh food court in the city sells old fashioned FAT Jelly Babies, not just that but these are the ones dusted in the special powder just like the ones i used to gobble as a kid! trouble is they are fifteen dollars a kilo!!, so i’ve had to make sad and pleading eyes to Phillip so he can be my jelly baby dealer and keep sending me a supply of the puffy wonders.

Some images from the St Kilda Pride parade.

The day i left Melbourne our old friend and sister Beryl was taking my place in the Melbourne Loft accomodation suite, i thought i’d leave a little ‘present’ for her on the mattress, i had to walk all over the city to find the perfect fake turd, i never knew there was such a variety!

2007 was my first year of attending any ‘Midsummer’ events, thats the Gay and Lesbian festival down there, i really enjoyed it and it wasnt as ‘in your face’ as Sydney Mardi Gras, i think behind Phillip and i IoTA is on stage, he was later to blow me out when Tyson and i went to see him in Sydney perform in ‘Hedwig’ .. one of the most amazing performances i’ve ever seen of anyone.

While in Melbourne with Phillip we went around looking at possible houses for him to move to, we sorta liked this place, but when we left i noticed the motorbike spare parts embeded into the lawn and a tree out the front that seemed to be growing beer bottles, we scratched that place off our list.

Summer proved to be a great time for catching up with old friends, and when i say old i mean old (he says laughing and prolapsing at the same time) i’ve been mates with Alex since the Towradgi surf club days and their is a lot to be said for having friends that long, there is an incredible comfort knowing there is never an awkwardness, you can pretty much say and do anything in front of them and it wont get a reaction. Alex and Leah collect kids, i think they are in competition with Angelina Jolie :-)

Adam and i out to dinner with H and his fiance Manami, over the last few years i havent had the chance to hang out with and see H as much as i’ve wanted to, that seems to be correcting itself lately and we are blessed to have a friendship that even if we dont see or speak to each other for six months when we do catch up it only feels like we saw each other yesterday, i might have to dig into the photo albums and scan up some photo’s from our adventures over the years, i’ve known H since i was twelve!.

Friday, April 20th, 2007


Tyson Took this photo of us using some weirdo spaceship spy camera thingy he has on his spooky glowing Apple (we’ve shafted the Beatles) laptop, i REALLY want a laptop, but i just cant bring myself to handing over cash to the company that is trying to swallow the Beatles.

Friday, April 20th, 2007


Friday, April 20th, 2007


What a sad day it was when the bulldozers moved in and tore down Rose Porteous’s house of love, it’s to my eternal sadness that i never got to visit and pay hommage to this most important of houses in Australia .. nay, the WORLD! so much Rose chaos was born behind and beyond these walls, the obsessive poodle scrubbing, the overdosing, the script pad mishaps and of couse the rampant drag and fashion shows that usual was followed the next day by a report of Roses collapse from ‘Exhaustion’
Vale Prix d’amor

Friday, April 20th, 2007


You know, call me old fashioned, but if i want advice on my penis i dont think Ugly Dave Grey is the first person i’d be turning to.

Friday, April 20th, 2007


This is one of Adam’s latest photoshop efforts where he desecrates my image .. nice.

Friday, April 20th, 2007


The photo below was taken during rehearsals for the last show Adam co wrote ‘Atlantis’ and now four years later (Four!!??) we are just about to launch off with his and Amy’s new show ‘The last estiddfod’ it’s an exciting time, but very stressy, i’ll be drumming for the show and i really hope i can do the awesome music justice.

Friday, April 20th, 2007