Tammys turntable, (Delicate flowers).

June 16th, 2016

0011

I wrote this in 1996, which is like . . twenty years ago now (gulp!).

All these songs are posted with the clear knowledge and understanding on my part, that at no time am i under any illusion that i’m actually a ‘singer’. So, with that in mind, take any of these indulgences i post with a healthy pinch of salt.

Stepping out.

June 16th, 2016

1

Love this photo.

June 16th, 2016

1

The Munsters.

June 16th, 2016

1

2

3

On yer skates.

June 16th, 2016

1

Val Morgan.

June 16th, 2016

1

I know it so well.

June 16th, 2016

1

High as a kite with The Brady Bunch.

June 16th, 2016

1

SSP Racers, a contender for best toy ever.

June 16th, 2016

1

2

Near miss.

June 16th, 2016

1

Seeing this photo reminds me of the time when i was nine years old. I’d just walked out of this David Jones department store with my brother. In the above pic you can see a large white wall with black lettering on it, this wall was made up of large white tiles.

My brother was walking ahead of me, as i followed, a large section of the tile wall collapsed, it literally fell all around me. Somehow, and it was only fate and good fortune, not one of the tiles hit me. I stood there in shock, people were just staring, i remember one lady saying ‘How did that miss you!?’.

Weird, and something i hadn’t really thought about too much until i just saw this photo, in hindsight, that really was a lucky escape.

I am a poet.

June 16th, 2016

1

All this useless beauty.

May 28th, 2016

1

Vinyl.

May 28th, 2016

1

Bums.

May 28th, 2016

1

A tissue, a tissue, we all fall down.

May 24th, 2016

1

Could we at least consider 2016 the year the world contemplates banning the handkerchief?.

In so many areas mankind has evolved in regards to sanitation, but for some reason a rag carried in a persons pocket, soaked in mucous is okay?. There is no dribble, no ooze, no drip, no smear that cannot be dealt with by a disposable, hygienic tissue.

My line in the sand came last week, when during lunch, someone nonchalantly pulled a hanky from their pocket, and what was to my eyes a slow motion moment of horror, proceeded to ‘snap’ and shake the hanky like a magician.

I clearly heard ‘The crackle’ as dried matter fractured. What flew from this rag was not a white dove or feathers, but something sickening and foul. Tho minuscule and dust like, It was disgusting, and it was unnecessary.

I’m assuming ‘users’ don’t have some ritual of cleansing these, let’s be blunt, snot rags, quarantined from their other washing?. So, they go in with everything else?, snot socks, snot jocks, snot tea towels?.

We’ve moved beyond cloth arse rags and sanitary pads, it’s time to call stumps on this last holdover from a bygone era, it’s really disgusting when viewed by a person outside the habit.

This topic will be covered and illustrated in much greater, graphic detail in my forthcoming book, ‘Elizabeth’s etiquette for people with poise’.

Yo, gimme something to dance to.

May 24th, 2016

1

Gold chain.

May 23rd, 2016

1

Tammys turntable, (Out with you).

May 23rd, 2016

1

A little while back i was noodling away on the piano, and came up with the bare bones of a song.

I sent it along to my friend Chris Brewer (cb70), he soon had it fleshed out, and made it into a real
song, a really nice song.

Chris is playing and singing on this, part of my original humble piano demo can be heard at the very end of the track.

Hipster graffiti.

May 23rd, 2016

1

Come in sir, please disrobe, put your clothes over there in the corner, next to mine.

May 23rd, 2016

1

Steve and Oscar.

May 23rd, 2016

1.jpg

On the side.

May 23rd, 2016

1

So, I’ve discovered confusing areola with aioli can cause a little chaos when ordering breakfast.

I can see this is going to be a psychological stumbling block for me every time i order now. The sad thing is, i didn’t even know what an areola was.

Filth.

May 23rd, 2016

1

Larry David.

May 23rd, 2016

182

Weirdy cakes.

May 23rd, 2016

1

Her Majesty.

May 23rd, 2016

180

Wrapped in plastic.

May 23rd, 2016

179

Winky.

May 23rd, 2016

178

Now and then.

May 23rd, 2016

177

Glam water skiing.

May 17th, 2016

1

Fah, fah, fashion.

May 17th, 2016

1

Sydney harbour bridge under construction.

May 17th, 2016

1

Do NOT try and convince me it’s pronounce ‘Foo Koo’.

May 17th, 2016

1

Lamp post lips.

May 17th, 2016

1

The life of a migraine sufferer.

May 17th, 2016

Version 2

Dexter Fishpaw.

May 17th, 2016

1

Heels.

May 17th, 2016

1

Pink.

May 17th, 2016

1

2

Don’t you hate it when a couple is having a screaming domestic, then they realize everyone for three streets is listening in, so they lower the volume?.

I need closure!!!!!!!!

T shirt.

May 17th, 2016

1

Sometimes it’s acceptable to have a little dash of colour with your black, especially when the shirt is this fantastic.

Pigs #3.

May 17th, 2016

1