Archive for February, 2009

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT:

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

February 12th 2009, a date circled most enthusiastically in my diary, for this was the day when i finally had the honour of paying homage to the most influential lady to ever cross the entertainment, and political stages of Australia. Forget your Chelsea Brown’s and Bronwyn Bishops, none of them hold a melting candle to Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth.

Joylene was starring in a show at the factory theatre ‘Betcha thought i was dead .. ‘ and so it was that the collective Miss’s Tammy, Stephanie, Beryl and Viv went along with butterflies sniffing amyl in our bellies, such was the level of our excitement.

I cant go into a review of the show, it was one of those ‘You just have to see it to believe it’ situations, i went merely excited to be seeing Joylene for the first time but we left having seen an amazingly well written, and sharp piece of theatre.

At the end of the show Joylene left the stage, i thought alas my chance of kneeling before her to pay my respects had flown out the window, but upon leaving the theatre and entering the foyer Miss Stephanie squealed ‘She’s here!’ and so we hung back while Joylene conversed with some friends of hers, i was amazed to realize that for almost the first time in my life i was nervous to be meeting a star!.

I’ve met more famous people than Beryl has had interventions, I’ve done all the biggies, including Diana and Paul McCartney, but Joylene was rooted a little deeper in my belly.

When i thought about it i realised that Joylene was someone who struck a very deep, and early chord with me .. but not an obvious one, Diana yeah for the glam, and Paul for the music, but Joylene went deeper, to a darker more hidden place.

Then it all came together for me while waiting to meet her, when i used to watch Joylene on tv when i was a kid, she was a drag terrorist, she was doing things that no one would dare do in 1970’s Australia, a disemboweling drag queen appearing on the daytime blue rinse Mike Walsh show?, a self immolating drag queen running for the Australian senate?, my little fourteen year old eyes were watching all this, and tho I’ve never had the urge to don an osti frock, i was desperate to be however, and whatever i was meant to be.

I felt crushed, compressed and moulded into what i was supposed to be, or expected to be, but through watching Joylene all those years, it must have sunk in deep, that you can step outside the square, you can do whatever you want to do (sometimes at a high cost, but surely it’s a higher cost to not do that) it is possible to not fit the mold.

I now know that that is what my little eyes were taking in.

When Joylene finished talking to her friends, i went over and introduced myself, and instantly i felt a warmth, a sense of gratitude to her i could not convey. It was a joy for me to see the sense of wonder in Beryl’s eyes as she realised she was in the presence of greatness, she was standing before Australia’s very own Drag terrorist, our very own Filth Queen if you will, and no matter how many rats have lived in Beryl’s drag wigs, she could never hold a torch to Joylenes monolithic, iconic beehive blade (Which should be in the Powerhouse museum along with Joylene’s other fashions, i mean if they can have an exhibition of Diana’s dresses and artifacts surely one dedicated to Joylene cant be far away).

Joylene was so very gracious, and entertained us for several minutes, and accommodated photo’s and autograph’s, we bid our thanks and farewell’s, after fullfilling our desire, to prone ourselves, to prostrate ourselves before her size 12 court heels, in utter gratitude, and thanks.

It was rather telling when we were outside, Stephanie commented ‘Isn’t it lovely when you meet someone you love and admire, and they aren’t an arsehole’.

Click here for my previous Joylene post.

Once again Joylene, thank you from the heart of my bottom.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

BEATLE BOYS AT BEATLE LUNCH:

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

WHAT SHITS ME:

You know what shits me off? everything is getting smaller! just the other day i got a spinach and cheese roll and sauce, and when i went to blurt the sauce out i looked at how little the saches hold now, i like my ipods getting smaller, i DONT like my condiments shrinking, you want proof? just go to Wendy’s and see what size the milkshakes are there now Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

GREG’S DOO DOO:

How cool is this, for my birthday my neices partner Emily, my sister and my neice Lis made me this awesome comfort rug, or my ‘Doo Doo’ as i have always called them, the really cool thing about it is it’s in my favorite black and it has been patched with Ben Sherman Beatle print material, if you look closely at the photo you can see the Fabs faces in the patches, this is one of the best presents i’ve ever recieved.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

SUPERMAN:

I was going to make you guess what it is i’m holding in this photo, but i know the crass nature of my readership which is only tempered by the extreme delicate nature of a few people who look on here ..

What i have in my hand is an actual prop crystal from the original Superman movie, my old buddy Matt is a bigger movie fanatic than even i am, i mean who else do you know that owns Matt Dillon and Ben Afflecks soiled clothing? (Matt drove a hard bargain but for twenty bucks he let me sniff the armpit of Matt Dillons shirt .. ahhhh, sweet filth)

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

JUDITH LUCY:




For my birthday this year i went with Beryl and a group of friends to the Opera House to see Judith Lucy’s latest show, it was an absolute hoot and i’ve long said if i had to turn strait for a night it would probably be with Judith, not sure what that says about me .. or her really, anyway it was a beautiful warm night around the harbour and we took the chance to grab a photo as the setting sun turned the harbour gold.

Just in case you’re wondering, yes that is a full underarm bush in the last photo of Judith, what can i say .. she’s an earthy girl.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

NOT GONNA HAPPEN:

I love this old photo of me i found, it says so much. You can see me in our backyard where i have been placed before a soccer ball, wearing my brothers soccer boots standing on what was used as a cricket pitch in our backyard, if you look up the top you can even see where the lawn is worn from the batting, my dad is standing in the right of the photo willing me on to do something, anything all the while i’m standing there with my little hands demurely clasped together probably thinking ‘I dont think so honey!!’. This strip of lawn was later the site of endless hours of torture to me when my brother would make me stand there and bowl over and over to him as he practiced batting, even to this day whenever i have to throw a ball i dry retch, the sporting gene very obviously past me by and flew right over my head.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

SKID MARKS:



Got to spend some quality time with Matt while in Melbourne, on this day Matt took me to the Melbourne eye or whatever it’s called, it’s a huge 35 story ferris wheel and the day we went was the first 43 degree day of what was to become Melbourne’s heatwave, everyone else was excited about looking out over the city, but i only had eyes for the out of control skid marks on the top level of the parking station, Matt delighted in calling me later to tell me that due to the extreme head the wheel had began to buckle and had closed down.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

SNAP:

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

BOARDING PASS:

How prophetic those words on the sign were to turn out, this is just before Tyson and i were due to fly out at 3.00pm for Melbourne, we didnt take to the skies till 8.00pm, plenty of time for me to scam an arm full of Virgin Blue meal vouchers, i found the trick was to go up and ask for them just after an agro customer had exploded and ripped a new one to the poor staff behind the counter, they were so flustered they didnt know what they were handing out and even forgot to stamp them .. which proved handy for my meals on the return trip.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

TRIPLE TREAT:

Weird tripple exposure of me and my mum and brother.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

HEY CHARGER! :

Coolest car ever, saw this on where else but Greville St in Melbourne, i was in awe.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

RETRO RED TRACKY:


I used to live in this red tracksuit when i was a kid, tho hip enough to break it up so it was a mix and match, in the bottom photo you can see Michelle, myself, Dani and Kylie on uncle Harry’s farm, great memories from here and it was at this farm i learnt to ride an adult motorbike, i was too small to put my feet down when i wanted to stop so i would ride around for ages and ages and then call out to my brother John when i wanted to stop and he would have to run along side the bike and catch me.

For dedicated Tammy fashion followers please note in the bottom photo the first appearance of my signature Converse Chuck Taylors, really i should have a sponsorship deal with them.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

NEWTOWN LIGHT:

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

FANCY DRESS:

Each year over summer we would go to a big fancy dress party, i used to always clean up with first prize, this was another winning year for me where i went dressed as a pirate ‘Lookout in the crows nest’ my dad had actually made a birds nest to go around my waist and even put eggs in it, my poor niece Kylie didnt fare so well that year, she’s the one on the left of the photo with a bit of orange cardboard and some haphazard tin foil wrapped around her head as she tried to pass as a bottle of rum .. Kylie likes to remind people that she’s the middle child.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

DAX DOWN SOUTH:


Made sure to catch up with my nephew Dax while in Melbourne, i was most proud to introduce him to Chad, Dax became a little too enarmoured with Chad and i shot him a sideways glance when he said ‘Lets hold his little paws up so they wiggle’.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

MARCIA’S BIRTHDAY IN NEWTOWN:

Cant remember the name of the place we ate, but it had the yummiest, most fattening gobblesome vegetarian food i’ve eaten in ages, luckily i remember how to get back there.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

HARMONIUM:

Photoshop gone made here, in the original photo i’m holding a hanky in my right hand, but it just looked way to gay and delicate, so i photoshopped it out and in the process made it look as if i have a manky pinky on my right hand, that will teach me to try and toughen myself up and redress sexuality by the power of photoshop (i can recommend the ‘Heal tool’ for getting rid of those pesky crows feet however.)

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

PHILLIPS 40TH:





Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

ALL FOOD GROUPS COVERED:

Only in Qld would you find a store front advertising Knobs AND Freddo Frogs.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

MEDICAL SUITE:


While in Melbourne, on a dare Tyson actually spend 15 hours in the Emergency Dept of the Princess Stephanie hospital pretending to be a doctor, talk about laugh! (Tyson, do you know if wooden speculums are tax deductable?)

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

SKANK FOOT:

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

BREE AND AMY:

My two little nieces who blew me out when i was visiting Qld by pulling out violins and cello’s and playing them with such talent and feeling, obviously my AMAZING musical genes ran strait to their pool.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

PINK FLAMINGO:

Marcia and i out and about in Newtown.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

SWINGER:

See!, i was born blonde!.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

COOL DRIVE IN SLIDE:

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

PARIS IS BURNING:

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR:


Over summer i once again got to channel John Laws, Allan Jones and Kyle Sandilands when i appeared on the ‘Let it be .. Beatles’ radio show, it’s always such a tread when the boys let me on, i close my eyes and for just the shortest second i can imagine i’m ‘Murray the K’ .. We’re what’s happnin’ babe!

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

FROM THE CRADLE:


How weird, when i scanned these photo’s and saw the embroidery on my baby pillow it was instantly familiar, i wonder if it’s possible to actually remember something, or respond to something from when you were that young?.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

POSTER FROM MY KITCHEN:

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

FESTIVE ROAST:






The festive season brought along with it some of my favorite things, ie family, food and presents but not always in that order. One of the photo’s above is of a vegetarian festive roast which bless her little brynylon sox my sister went totally emo on and diced and sliced up just like your normal basted roast.

Present of the day for me was ‘Delores the rampantly gay cat’ which was flown back to me all the way from a Las Vegas souvineer shop, the last photo is of the delicate detail you can see in it’s plastic contours.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

MY FIRST CHRISTINE:

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

SOCK IT TOO ME:

Yes it’s true, i actually have a ‘thing’ for sock puppets, dont ask me why i could’nt explain.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

THERE’S GOT TO BE A MORNING AFTER:












Thanks to the kindness of my sister in filth and depravity Miss Beryl i was lucky enough to land an invite to the Sydney Lord Mayors New Years eve party, to describe this as over the top glam and excess would be a gross understatement, never before have i seen so much free alcohol flowing, it was truely eye boggling, line after line of champagne and wine was lined up along the many bars. I texted a friend later in the night ‘Money and status does not bring class’, it was a sobering and valuable lesson to see so many pillars of society drunk and tripping over, exiting the toilets with their skirts tucked into their panties, slurring and being vulgar and racist .. i commented to a Govt minister friend who was also there ‘I may be a shit kicker from Wollongong, but at least i know how to carry myself’, it was a fantastic night tho, i’m certain there was no better place on the planet to spend New Years Eve, a perfect warm summer evening on the forecourt of the Opera house.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

RANDOM MOBILE PICS:




Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

ROUGH NUT:

More pics from the old photo album, i look like such a little rough nut in this photo, i’m sure my inner queen was weeping at being forced to wear a flanno, nice reminder tho at how stuck together like glue Michelle and i were (still are, tho from a distance now alas)

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

ELECTRIC ARGUMENTS:




In December as is tradition a group of us gathered to listen to Paul McCartney’s new album (are they still called albums?) ‘Electric Arguments’. Each time Paul releases a new cd we all make a pact not to sneak any listens before we can all gather and sit down and listen for the first time together, these have been some of the best nights ever, probably the best was hearing ‘Chaos and creation’ for the first time, we were all left dumbstruck at how awesome it was, as usual Janelle spoilt the boys by organising a huge feast for us all to gobble and masticate over .. i wonder if Nana Mouskuri fans have gatherings like this.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

PROJECTED IMAGE:

Another graphic used at Phillips party.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

TABLE OF KNOWLEDGE:

One of the drawbacks of living so close to North Beach is everyone that visits me wants to be taken to be photographed at the table of knowledge, the old Kebab guy is gonna come out with his knife one day and go me as i seat another person for a quick photo op, if you need to Google ‘The table of knowledge’.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

B/W:

I remember as a kid this path seemed so long, weird how perceptions change, size, distance, now we fly around the world without a blink, sometimes i miss the days when the paths was as far as you could imagine.