OUT WITH THE OLD:
So lately I’ve been like ‘You know what? i don’t need all this shit around me, the cream of the shit yes (and at this moment i’d like to take the chance to say hi to all my friends at Coogee bay hotel) but a lot of the other stuff no, so where as before i would keep whole magazines now I’m just tearing out the photo or the page i want, sorry Kylie all those Tv Weeks? cast to the winds, old music magazines? now being recycled into shit paper, i just don’t need all these encumberments, but the fun part and the best it is i have found all these articles i have been saving, so be prepared to be bombarded with crap like the photo’s above, i have a real thing for wonky celebrities, i don’t mean try hard wonky like Paris Hilton, the only think wonky about her is her right eye, but true wonk like the photo above of Kathleen Turners feet, i mean I’ve heard of gnarled .. but these are just off the scale, what do you think Beryl? could this foot shot ever be topped?
Archive for October, 2008
OUT WITH THE OLD:
During the big clean out of 2008 i found this photo in an old issue of TV Week magazine of Eric Oldfield, an Aussie actor who appeared most memorably in ‘The Young Doctors’ but my lust for Eric Oldfield goes back much, much further than that. In about 1973 Eric was the centerfold in Cleo magazine, not full frontal but you saw enough, i remeber seeing this and i really think from that moment on the deal was sealed .. i was facinated by these photo’s, i was drawn to them like a sociopath to a McDonalds drive thru speaker, to this day i can see the pictures so clearly in my minds eye, obviously i didnt know what it was back then when i was like eight. It’s so funny, a friend just the other night saw this clipping i had laying around my house, he’s about the same age as me and he gasped when he saw this laying around my house, he went on to tell me how he had seen the Cleo centrefold and had been drawn to it, lastly mentioning this to my friend Matt in Melbourne he too fessed up that Eric Oldfield in Cleo had had the same effect on him as well, and that he to could recall each detail of the photo’s, i think Mr Oldfield has a lot to answer for heh. Anyone that can find me a copy of that issue of Cleo will be rewarded handsomely, i’d LOVE to scan it up and post it here.
GAYEST HOUSE EVER:
Recently while driving near Enmore i caught a glimpse of this house out of the corner of my eye, i was drawn to it like a bee to a honey pot, i slammed Christine into a full handbrake stop, spinning her on only her back tyres and sliding her into a tight parking space, we jumped out and held an impromptu photo session out the front of this most wondrous pink palace, i sure hope no one strait lives in this place, because if they do they need urgent psychological attention.
Recently my school friend Vin (Viv) and i went to see the Kransky sister’s at the Opera house, it was a fantastic night and for me was topped off by running into and getting to speak with Liz Kirby (Lucy Sutcliff in Number 96) in the foyer after the show, i had to work on the photo of Viv and i as the lady who took the pic was off her nut on cheap wine and almost took the photo sideways.
Beryl recently had her house warming party, the poor harlot thought we were all there because we love her, when in reality we were there for the free food and to steal things from her house .. i walked out with what i assumed was a perforated water bed bladder from Beryl’s bedroom, it’s either that or it’s a gravity fed enema. Irony has a new definition, Beryl’s new house is right next door to the federal police headquarters!.
Beryl, Barb’s, Lynne and myself at Pollys in August, i just love going to the Polly’s dances in Sydney, they are beyond fun and daggy, usually a posse of us make our way there and i think this night was the first time Barb’s had ever been to a Polly’s. It’s the sort of place that if the crowd seems to like a song, like Dianna Ross’s ‘Chain reaction’ for example, the DJ will just play the song again!, also the drag shows are on the Dapto side of feral, where else can you see morbidly obese drag queens do a show to ‘Dancing queen’ under the banner of ‘FLABBA’.
THEY SAY IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY:
My nephew Michael recently turned 30th, besides having a great party where he had a slurpee machine rigged with alcoholic knee bending squishee’s he had the most amazing birthday cake i have EVER seen, it was totally outrageous and my teeth are aching just thinking about it, it was a chocolate and icing reproduction of a block of Cadbury’s dairy milk chocolate .. pure tooth numbing indulgence.
MAN ABOUT TOWN:
Over the past few months Phillip has been spending a bit of time in Sydney for work, it’s always great to catch up, and it’s even better to check out all the funky and posh hotels he gets to stay in, i always like to pretend i’m staying at the place when i visit, and while taking the lift up to his room i always manage a dismissive sniff at the other guests who get off at lower floors to the one i’m going to, i’ve never professed to be anything less than a sad, pathetic and desperate wannabe.
ABOVE PIC: The photo above proves that (gulp) i am human, for the first time in living memory i have graced a photo with my shadow!, i cant believe that i done something so ‘human’ i’ve always prided myself on my photo’s and lack of severed heads, shadows etc but there you go, a rare moment of humanness from Tammy Tingles.
My friends and i have been spoilt this year to get two visits from our friend Marc who now lives in Canada, Marc has this fantastic way of talking to you and things fall into perspective, he is also a much needed ‘Miss Fashion’ for me, sort of like my own personal Carson Kressley (without the botox .. i think, and ET belly, and insatiable desire to slap) one sideways glance from him will have you scampering back to your wardrobe vowing and promising to burn every pair of denim 3/4 pants you own, i wept tears of joy a couple of weeks ago when Marc saw my self stylised and personalised white Chuck Taylors with red tartan laces and said ‘They’re hot Greg’, it’s the small things really.
WONT SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!??:
ABOVE PIC: These photo’s were taken the day before my niece and her partner Emily had there first baby Kylan, this year has just been baby city down here with my nieces and nephews and cousins firing babies out left right and centre, i seem to have the uncle thing down pat and without exception i AM the favorite uncle of every single one of my nieces and nephews .. isnt that right children?
ABOVE PIC: This is my Nephew Kylan who just became the first baby in Australia to be issued with a same sex parents birth certificate, at last i feel the world is inching forward. *NB Michael and Jo and the little stinky bums, i would splash you guys all over my blog, but i dont know how you feel about being posted on the net, see how responsible and caring i am.
Never before have the words ‘Little darlin’, it’s been a long, cold, lonely winter’ from the Beatles ‘Here comes the sun’ rung more true than this year, it was a long hard slog of a winter that saw me investing big dollars in lots of scarves, it seemed to last forever, for the first time i saw snow where i live, okay .. a cross between soft and small hail and snow, but it stayed frozen on the ground all day and night and thats close enough for me, it also stayed frozen on my car windows as i drove home, i got lots of appreciative honks at my vulgar window ice etchings.
MELBOURNE JULY 08:
I love my winter visits to Melbourne, it’s almost like visiting another country, i always manage to pack so much in and i never have enough time to see everyone and everything i want to.
ABOVE PIC: Finally i get to wear a Doctors outfit, all i need now is the script pad and i’m set.
ABOVE PIC: After years of visiting Melbourne and staying at Melbourne Loft i walked past a burger and chip shop just over the road and on the corner, my nostrils were flaring like a gay boys cod piece at Mardi Gras .. ahhhh, the sweet aroma of chips with gravy, i lamented to Phillip that since being vege i havent been able to eat chips and gravy but i saw they sold vege burgers, so as the girl was serving me i looked up and saw the sign ‘Everything in this store vegatarian’ WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!?? i walked past this place for years and never knew, it was a vege fast food place, before you know it i had ordered one of everything .. and TWO of the chips with gooey gravy, Phillip explained to me that this was a special dish from Canada called ‘Poutine’ and along with the hot chips, the steaming gravy .. they were covered in melting cheese! be still my beating heart.
ABOVE PIC: Upon arrival at Phillip’s i was greeted with a welcome pack for my stay, which included a much needed hot water bottle, a bag of my favorite lollies from the shi shi David Jones food court, my favorite lemon grass tea and a brand spanking new pair of Peter Alexander pjyamas .. the standard has been set Phillip, start shopping for the January visit,
ABOVE PIC: Whats a visit to Melbourne without lunch at the ‘Charles Dickens Ratkellar’ if you look closely at our eyes you can see we’ve all visited the bathroom to visit Bettina to score our Prelly’s to top up our lunch of beer and nacho’s.
I recently got a new mobile, nothing too fancy, but it has a camera which enables me to pretty much document every useless thing i come across, take for instance my computer monitor at work as seen above .. even more amazing, i know how to use every single feature on this mobile and no one had to show me.