Posts Tagged ‘Marta Hari’


Thursday, November 25th, 2010

In a fashion spread that is so common place these days, but not so much in Marta’s time, she took the opportunity to be dressed and stylised as some of her favorite icons. As is now expected of Marta, it was more ‘Razors’ than ‘Cutting’ edge. Pain, self mutilation and careless regard for society’s mores is all de rigour when Marta steps before the camera, so moisten a finger, and prepare to flip through the pages of Marta’s latest documented fashion gift to us ..

ABOVE PIC: Marta tips the hat, and quite possibley the scales, in this tribute to Courtney Love, Marta spared no comfort zone in her dedication to nailing her inspirations, right down to infusing her Courtney-esque wig with head lice, and hacking out a piece of her septum.

ABOVE PIC: Esther Williams never needed goggles, but that isn’t going to stop Marta interpreting what she believes Esther should have been decked out in. In true Marta fashion she insisted that her goggles carry her prescription, so in a fashionabley aqueous act she could wear these goggles with evening wear, and to the theatre.

ABOVE THREE PICS: Annette Funicello come on down!, it’s ‘Beach blanket bingo’ with Marta as she takes to the waves, and risks getting sand in her crack, and a pelt matted by the drying effects of salt water, all in the name of fashion. Speaking of, Marta can’t help herself, she has to fuck with our minds. In the first of the above three photo’s, you can see in tribute to the material girl Madge, Marta got a pair of pliars, and snapped off one of her top mollars, unlike Madge, who merely used black gum make up, Marta self medicated, and snapped the fucker off in front of the bathroom mirror, why? .. for Fah-Fah-Fashion.

ABOVE PIC: Cool as ice, or warm as an ice pipe?, Catherine Deneuve gets the nod here, the all too obvious beret, the beige Jackie O mid seventies jacket, and Marta’s own diamond earings cut from the nastiest mountain in South Africa. What can i say, cool, icey, aloof, chilly .. textbook French.

ABOVE PIC: The first of two biker girl tributes by Marta, and it’s no one you would think. Here Marta takes on the role of the sexually unsatisfied Olive Butler from the UK tv series ‘On the buses’, played by Anna Karen. Poor Olive was always relegated to the side car of her husbands motorbike, which Marta feels was a euphemism for women everywhere, and there circumstance at the time. Marta recognises, and pays tribute to the subtle work done in breaking down these barriers by making sure no bugs ever stuck in her teeth, and it was okay to wear diamonds, even tho relegated to a submissive roll in a motorbike side car, and most importantly, to suck on the exhaust fumes, and get off your nut as you were forced to be merely a passenger (even tho zoning off into the alpha).

ABOVE PIC: Ethnic chic as Marta travels to the Middle East and plays a role within a role, here Marta is styled after Michelle Phillips in ‘Valentino’, who was herself playing Natacha Rambova in the movie, shades of the famous Dali painting, of a painting, of a painting, of a painting etc. A subtle nod also goes out to Linda McCartney who refused to shave her legs, and was pilloried from pillar to post because of this act of non conformity, Marta (who personifies the the words ‘In your face’) does not fuck around, and for weeks before the photo shoot, mainlined testosterone directly into her temple, to ramp up the pelt on her upper chest as a casual ‘Fuck you!’, and as a nod of solidarity to her more hirsute sisters.

ABOVE PIC: The second in the ‘Biker girl’ series, here Marta don’s a ‘Pleather’ jacket, jumps out of the side car, takes the handlebars, and becomes Shelly Winters in ‘Cleopatra Jones’. Note the totally Sixties face viser, the collagen stung lips, and the Easy Rider profile, no happy accidents here.

ABOVE THREE PICS: Marta does Martha (‘Stewart’ that is). Is it any wonder that Marta chose to pay tribute to a woman who’s life has encopassed crocheting colostomy bag covers, macrame wall hangings (used primarilly for auto erotic asphyixiation), and two years hard labour in an all womens prison?, didn’t think so. Anyone who thinks that the cream canister in the first pic is going to be used for the desert is vastly mistaken, Marta knows that nothing rocks your world like having a hit of nitrous from a cream canister, immediately after hammering a bucket bong.

In the second photo Marta contemplates using the flacid chicken as a hat, of course this predates Lady Ga Ga’s meat dress by a good thirty years, but the dripping bacteria from the gibblets swayed Marta away from this act of poultry fashion terrorism, even Marta draws the line at stomach cramps, and projectile gastric in the name of fashion.

Can we please make mention of the stately outfit?, from the drop flowered diamond earrings, the almost, but not quite, hounds tooth dress, the finely cut blouse with what i can only assume are Saville Row tailored sleeves and buttons, and the double, and wide banded watch. All for the kitchen, and all for glamour.

ABOVE PIC: ‘Jocelyn’ nothing more to be said.

ABOVE PIC: Lauren Bacall all the way, Marta makes a flowing entrance, it’s all about the movement and the moment. The scolloped front flows down, but pulls up short of the pubic region, it’s Marta saying ‘You can have a bit, but not everything’. For her cuffs Marta has hacked the cuff’s off an old pair of bell bottom slacks and grafted them on here for winter covereage, i’ve seen this dress worn in spring without the extended arm length, making this dress a little more interactive. The flower burst diamond (of course) earings are on display for all to ogle, and in true Marta fashion, her stockings, or leggings, are actually made from the stretched foam coverings used to protect stone fruits in supermarkets. Jeannie Little may have made a career out of making dresses from garbage bags, but no one recycles waste into fashion like Marta.

ABOVE PIC: With a look of stoicism, unaffected detachement and a serene calm, Marta holds aloft no mere accsesory, but a symbol of repression everywhere in the GLBTI community, the humble turkey baster. Years before ribbons, fundraisers and awareness campaigns, Marta would appear at openings, red carpet roll outs and celebrity events clutching the baster, and much like how Paris Hilton walks around with her rat dog living in her purse (what dog wouldn’t want to live in a confined space packed with drugs) Marta would use this not so much as an accesory, but as more of a statement, to get people talking, to open up a dialog and break down the walls of misunderstanding. In this one photo Marta pays tribute to not only every downtrodden GLBTI actor and actress, but to every GLBTI person who has been shitlisted, shafted, derailed and denied the fundemental, and basic human rights that so many others enjoy. Cast aside your ribbons, and hold aloft the turkey baster as the international symbol of working around, and defeating archaic beliefs and systems, put in place to stop us progressing and procreating. Thank you for this gift Marta, thank you for giving us a visual to identify with, VIVA LA BASTER, VIVA LA MARTA!!.

This collection is dedicated to Shelly, a fine person who knows her Simian style.


Thursday, May 25th, 2006

It’s been a while since we’ve had a Marta fashion spread, seeing as we’re heading into a cold winter i thought i’d concentrate the majority of these photo’s on some of Marta’s winter couture.

PHOTO 1: Brrrrrrrrr Marta freezes for art, dont you love the pink knitted mitts and how ‘now’ is that scrunched parker!.

PHOTO 2: Here Marta plays the part of a fabbo rock chick, call me old fashioned but under the right stage lighting Marta could be mistaken for Coutney Love, of course Marta has a much nicer complexion.

PHOTO 3: Not even the harsh Arabian sun can draw a bead of sweat to Marta’s upper lip.

PHOTO 4: Paris meets Miami Vice, have plimsols ever looked so sexy? i’m loving the matching Parisian top and hat, once again Marta was waaaay ahead of her time with Marta’s hat predating Fergies ‘bucket hats’ of 1986 by many a year.

PHOTO 5: Marta personifies casual cutting edge chic, photographed against a background of trash cans she knows we dont need the juxtaposition but she throws it at us anyway, she has the sleeves rolled up, confidant, a look on her face whilst gripping her gin and tonic that say’s ‘I’ll drive this glass in your face if you come near me’.

PHOTO 6: The deconstructed brainiac librarian look, you can see Marta likes to mix the old with the new, silver ‘Cherio’ earings, retro black spectacle frames, cream satin blouse under a designer dress, Marta’s not satisfied to leave it at that, she’s gone a brought a ‘nana hat’ from the op shop just to throw us.

PHOTO 7: The first of three biker shots, please take a look at those white pointed heels, the point on these shoes would have Gretel Kileen green with envy.

PHOTO 8: This photograph takes my breath away, Marta is wearing a satin top that Leif Garrett would crawl over broken glass to own, the wide banded watch is again ‘now’ and of course it’s worth noting there isnt so much as a bug in Marta’s teeth as she hurtles down the highway of fashion.

PHOTO 9: Marta’s a cluey girl, she knows you go nowhere without your accesories, Marta has slung her Prada handbag and Norman Hartnell hat over her handle bars.


Tuesday, February 21st, 2006

To placate the baying mobs of Marta fans who want more more more fashion, stand by for a spread of shere cutting edge beauty.

Photo # 1

Annie the primate Oakly, who would have ever thought tassles could look so alluring against a backdrop of natural fur? once again Marta shows that a real lady never steps outside the front door without earings, no one does ear furniture like Marta.

Photo # 2

Ya gotta love a girl who wears a ribbon tie, here we have Marta stepping out for a little show jumping, the Cindy Crawford beauty spots says ‘Look at me!, i am fantastic’.

Photo # 3

Not Marta, but a co-star showing how mutton chop sideburns were’nt the sole domain of Bernard King.


Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

The last of Marta for today, with the seasons changing faster than Jocelyne Wildenstein’s face, i thought today we would feature Marta in a fetching winter creation, i know we have a few months to go, but if you want to be ahead of the field then you better get copying, and knitting, to emulate Marta’s look before every two bit slapper is pulling on the winter woolies.

Photo # 1

Marta shows that a jumper can never be too tight, or too green.

Photo # 2

Here Marta proves that red and green CAN be seen, even if you’re not going to the snow this season follow Marta’s lead and carry skis and stock’s with you at all times, the word here is accessories.

Photo # 3

Never mind you wont be within 500 kilometers of snow this year, THESE are the glasses to be seen wearing around town this winter, and i dont mean to be tiresome but once again Marta scores a hole in one by matching her jumper with mint green earings.


Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

Look at the stance, look at the colors, look at the attitude, everything about these photo’s say ‘I’m in control here’.


Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

It’s been awhile since i’ve featured some of everyone’s favorite fashion plate primate Marta Hari’s fashion’s.

Without further ado, i’d like to present Marta’s summer ensemble ..

Photo # 1

Features Marta working the golden sands, you can see she’s an old fashioned girl who likes her polka dot bikini.

Photo # 2

Look out! diamonte earings at the beach!?, but thats just SO Marta isnt it?, i dont think a photo exists without Marta donning some form of ear furniture. I’m struck by the bold metalic frames, always a risk in the searing hot sun, but Marta put’s fashion before pain, the headwear has me puzzled, is it a Mexican theme, or is it a minimalist Melbourne cup effort? no matter, it works. lastly, may i draw your attention to Marta’s Cindy Crawford-esque beauty spot.


Monday, September 12th, 2005

Its that time again where i feature some more of Mata Hairies stunning fashions, i grabbed these stills from my set of Lancelot Link dvd’s, these are only from the first disc, later in the series i think the producers realised what a glamour they had in Marta, and thus started to dress her in some REALLY funky clothes i’ll have these on the blog soon.

Photo (1) shows that Marta has been trained to sit with perfect poise, and check out the rock on her finger.

Photo (2) this ISNT Marta, but rather an extra from the show.

Photo (3) shows Marta can wear any colour, even watermellon, i seriously love her chic close cropped hairdo as well.

Photo (4) this is Marta in disguise as an airhostess, please take note of the wide banded watch which EVERYONE who is anyone is wearing these days, the white bangle is really set off by the dark fur.


Friday, August 12th, 2005

As promised, some more images from my archives of the totally fab fashion plate ‘Marta Hari’.

Image 1 Above: A stunning pink twin set, featuring Marta’s patented fur concealing white stockings, please note the white high heels and the clear plastic inflatable chair Marta is lolling about on.

Image 2 Above: Not Marta, but an extra from the show. I’m impressed with anyone wearing ‘Jackie O’ glasses.

Image 3 Above: Not sure, but i think this could be tartan Marta is wearing.

Image 4 Above: Marta scrubs up! i like the disguise of the ‘Lennon’ glasses, what is it with super heroes and tv characters who think by donning a pair of glasses they become unrecognisable?, i also must add that i have come out of anesthetic before, and i’m sure through the ensuing ether haze, that i’ve seen monkeys dressed as doctors in the recovery ward.


Sunday, August 7th, 2005

After years of waiting, at last my favorite tv show, from when i was a kid, is out on dvd. Not many people remember this show, but those that do have a soft spot for it. Basically it was an adventure show, that starred monkey’s instead of humans, the cool thing was they used to drive cars, play tennis and ride moter bikes etc. Looking back and watching the show now, i’m not too sure PETA would agree with some of the ways the animals were treated, far more cruel however were the clothes, and fashion styles they dressed the stars of the show in. I’ve been capturing screen grabs of some of the best fashion moments from the show, by far ‘Marta Hari’ was the ‘IT’ girl, of the primate world back then. Over the coming weeks, i’ll be featuring some of Marta’s finest sartorial moments. Please pay special attention to Marta’s foot wear, even as a child i was amazed to see a monkey walk in high heels. In the second photo, check out Marta’s funky crocheted hat, the third photo shows that a chenile dressing gown can look pretty cool on a monkey, and the fourth photo shows a stunning example, of the wild high heels Marta used to prance around in .. this pair is silver