iBOB:

A lovely Friday night was spent in Sydney with Skype scammer Tyson, and blurter artiste’ extrordinair Beryl Motion. We went up to Enmore to watch Bob Downe (the prince of Polyester) in his latest show ‘iBob’, i managed to time the parking so we pulled up right out front of the theatre, soon enough Tyson was recognised on the street by one of his myriad of on line stalkers, we didnt know it at the time tho, as any ‘Pro stalker’ will tell you, you never walk up to the stalked to make yourself known. Before long we found Beryl entertaining a group of men on the street, charming chaps they were, i’ve met and partied with some of them in the past, along with Beryl at various dance parties. A desision had to be made, ‘where to eat?’ we were all fanging, we narrowed the choice down to ‘Yak scat kebabs’ at some Puruvian diner, or ‘Korma slops’ from an Indian diner, the slops won out, so we woofed down a $6.00 plate each and scampered across the road to the theatre, each of us secretly concerned that cheap Indian food may not have been the wisest choice to eat, before being stuck in a crowded theatre for three hours .. well, i wasnt that worried, i mean when you’re amongst friends .. Bob took to the stage, and soon enough had us hooting with laughter at his take on all things retro and tacky. Bob is one of those performers who you watch, and you see little bits of yourself come out in his act. At the end of the show i looked down to see a recording device secreted between Tysons legs, he has since told me that due to ‘imperfect recording conditions’, the recording which he was going to use sections of on his net cast, was pretty much unusable. Personally i think the gut full of Indian slops he woofed down before the show, could have had something to do, with making certain sections of the recording ‘unbroadcastable’. The final image of the lady in from of us, desperatley trying to clap along in time with everyone else is one i cant shake from my mind, it amazes that people can be that incrediblely uncoordinated, try as she might she just couldnt get into a rythem. After the show Bob appeared in the foyer of the theatre to sign copies of his cd, Beryl decided that this was one he wanted to add to his K-tell cd stacker, so he lined up for the ‘meet and greet’, Tyson and i were standing about four metres away when we heard above the din of the crowd Bob screech ‘Beryl!!??’, it wasnt the scream of recognition, more just a cosmic bonding, the sort of thing that happens when two like minds meet. it was time for me to get home, i had to double back and do this all again tomorrow.

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