Archive for March, 2014


Saturday, March 8th, 2014

Happy Women’s day to all the females in my life. I’m in awe of each and every one of you, tho society, inbuilt tradition and influence has sometimes made it hard for me to always get it right, and acknowledge the dept of gratitude and equality towards you, I am trying, and I hope to always keep learning and growing from you, and about you.

From my Mama who pulled a literal miracle out of the hat to have me, my sisters who mother me, my nieces who sisters me, my sister in law who takes the ‘in law’ out of sister in law, the lady over the road who befriended me as a child and taught me about art, the little five year old girls I went to school with who hung out with me (and are still hanging out with me) and enabled me in my theory that laughter was far more important than times tables (still don’t know anything other than my nine times table, which my sister in law drummed into me), the girls I hung around with down at the surf club who would take ‘no’ shit, and demanded to be treated as equals, even in the face dumb ass, insecure teenage boy mentality, the Lesbians who took me under their wing when I came out, and helped steady and guide me on my journey, a former mother in law who showed me that love and family can be adopted, and most every other woman who has befriended me and crossed my path.

Sometimes for a guy it can be a bit daunting, especially when your heart is in the right place, and you’re trying to ‘get it right’. I am constantly paralyzed with social phobia when I go to discuss women, is it PC to say ‘Girls’, ‘Ladies’, ‘Women’, ‘Wimin’, ‘Woman’, ‘Females’?????, Gah!!!!, it’s like my grammar phobia, no matter the advice I’ll never be not stricken, so now I just Preface everyone with ‘Miss’, male or female, I feel Tiny Tim got it right, you’ll just have to deal with it :-)

Some things I won’t apologize for, I like ladies who wear white gloves, I love a well made hat, and I’ll ‘never’ apologize for opening a door for a lady, it does not mean I think you’re too weak to open a door, it means I bow to you in awed deference. For me some things are best left in a state of blissful confusion, I’ll never understand the ‘lady garden’ stuff, just so long as everything is healthy and working I’m happy for you, any more information and my hands begin to uncontrollably flap.

The more time passes and the older I get, the more in awe I become. We all take so much for granted, but when one stops and pauses (as we do on these special days) sometimes we realize “Oh my goodness!!!, my mum was a fitter and turner working at the Steelworks when she was fourteen!!!???”

Just because my Mama used to do my washing for me didn’t mean it was because she was a woman and it was her job, it was because she made my undies smell like sunshine. Now, the best I can do is to get them smelling like an average sunrise.

For all that I’m in awe.

x x


Friday, March 7th, 2014

A flicker of hope in one suffering depression can sometimes be the smallest of things, like finding a small functional pocket of creativity. It helps to have a muse as inspirational, epic and legendary such as one Ms Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth.

In my filth dreams, in the coal dark blackness of night, a gang of art terrorists decend with blow torches blazing upon the dog sitting on the tucker box, melting it into a white hot puddle of molten steel.

Swiftly erected in its place by the ‘Artorrists’ will be a two hundred metre high bronze statue of Joylene, the greatest Australian woman ever to draw breath (and mascara), Joylene being at least a cats whisker in standing above Margaret Whitlam and Barbie Rogers.

Begone sad old dog sitting on a tucker box, your time is past as Australias centre for artistic randomness. Behold the first of my humble tributes to the inspiring Joylene.


Friday, March 7th, 2014


Friday, March 7th, 2014