HAIRMOUTH AU GO GO:

Recently ‘RAGE’ played some old episodes of Countdown, and i was cock o’ hoop to see that they played ‘Product of your mind’ by ‘Jimmy and the boys’, if for no other reason than it features Joylene Hairmouth’s greatest ever filmed performance.

This is the Citizen Kane of Joylene, a veritable Hairmouth cinema verite.

I love this clip soooo fucking much, Joylene is treating the keyboard with such contemp, but it’s trained contemp, she’s going at it like Shirley in the Partridge family, after Ruben Kinkade accidently drugged her, instead of Danny.

Think Marta Hari from Lancelot Linc’s Evolution Revolution .. that style of playing, where the hands look like they are frantically trying to fan someone back into conciousness after a bad, or really good pill.

We all know what was done to those poor bastard monkey’s to get them ramped up and hopping about, simian electro play was the order of the day, and Joylene looks, and performs in this clip like she’s had a car battery freshly clipped to her nipples.

To this very day, each time i enter the Opera House’s grand hall i have a knot in my stomach, knowing that Dame Joan Sutherland and Olivia Newton John opened that place, when all along the first person on the stage should have been the real La Stupenda Joylene.

Let me tell you, i bet Joylene would have had a better camel toe than Olivia did in her black lycra pants in Grease (another starring roll Joylene was jyped out of).

I do my bit, every morning i lay a fresh lilly before the framed photo i have in my lounge room, that was taken last year of Joylene, myself and my filthy bitch bestie ‘Beryl’.

Both Beryl and i agree that besides the night we came across a leather clad, and Rose free Willie Porteous at Sleaze ball, in the downstairs shitters in the Hordern Pavillion, our evening with Joylene was the pinacle of our very existence.

Below are some screen captures i took from the clip. I’ve posted some before, but they were from a lame ass Youtube clip, these are better quality, and it’s all about preserving art in the best possible quality .. and taste.

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OXFORD ST AUGUST PRE ELECTION:

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COULD A TREKKIE PLEASE CONFIRM THIS IS A REAL STILL FROM THE SERIES?:

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ERSKINVILLE AUGUST 2010:

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BLACK AND WHITE:

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ARCADIANS CHILDRENS THEATRE 25TH ANIVERSARY PARTY:


Nico, me and Adam.

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OKAY, I ADMIT IT, MY FIRST CRUSH WAS ON G I JOE, THE ONE WITH THE REAL HAIR:

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STYLE:

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ZAC ON PHILLIPS BIG SCREEN TELLY:

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UMMMMMM, YEH:

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I WISH:

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AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING LIKE A TOOL, I LOVE THIS PHOTO I TOOK:

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OH JOAN, I LOVE YOU:

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MISS TAMMY’S WINTER COLLECTION:

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GHOST PHILLIP:

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AND I DON’T EVEN DRINK COFFEE:

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PRIZED POSSESION, UPSKIRT WALKING STICK:

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EYE SPY:

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MUST HAVE THESE GIRLS AT MY NEXT BIRTHDAY PARTY:

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LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS:

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CRUISING ALTITUDE:

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MIX AND MATCH:

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CLAYMORE:

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DAX AND I IN ST KILDA WITH AN ALLURING DISPLAY OF PLEASURING IMPLEMENTS BEHIND US:

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DATES:


With Barb’s at the Opera House for Stephen Fry.


Matt, my mover and shaker friend from Melbourne.


Aunt Viv and i dining on African food for my birthday.


Julie, my fab friend nominated for Australian of the year.

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BUBBLE TROUBLE:

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WINTER, BREAKFAST, NEWTOWN, FRIENDS .. PUT IT ALL TOGETHER:

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RECENT READING:

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UNIQUE:

“Nature never repeats herself, and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another” Elizabeth Cody Stanton.

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ALMOST CERTAINLY THE BEST IMAGE I HAVE EVER SEEN:

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CHAPEL ST BAZAAR:

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A LAYYYYYDEEEE:

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OH TO HAVE BEEN THERE:

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SCREEN MASH:

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NOT QUITE TOY STORY:

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LET IT BE BEATLES RADIO SHOW JULY 2010:


The studio.


The panel (No, that’s not Arge Barker in the front)


Lunch at the Ratkellar, comprising traditional fare of pig shanks, schnitzengruben sausage, sourkraut and a chaser of Preludin capsules scored in the ladies abultions room.

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DR FLAMMOND:

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DRIVE IN:

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PONCHO:

I don’t advocate violence, however if i saw a guy wearing a poncho like this, i’d bash him. I love how the bubba has obviously been drugged to stop it crying, and freaking out at being dressed, in what can only be loosely described as a miasma of cross stitch crochet.

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YES, YES, YES AND YES:

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