On the catwalk with Beryl Palmer.

As promised an array of some of Beryl Palmers most alluring fashions.

Blue eye shadow: I’m not sure if it’s a fault in the actual photo, or if Beryl was pissed when she applied her blue eye shadow, but it looks as if she’s smeared it up her arm. We can also see Beryl isn’t as poor as she makes out, as she obviously has at least two watches judging by the tan mark on her arm. Upon close examination we can see that Beryl either has a lump of spinach on her tooth, or she pre dated Madonna’s gold tooth fashion accessory by about twenty years.

Ribbon: Aaaaah lovely, red taffeta how can you go wrong with that?. The little red ribbon around Beryl’s neck reminds me of the yellow ribbon’s American’s tie around tree’s whenever a hostage is taken, maybe this is Beryl’s message, that she is a hostage to taffeta and extreme fashion.
I have no medical training whatsoever, but i am a little concerned about the obvious fluid retention in Beryls hands.

Swizzle stick: Not sure what is going on here, Beryl may have a little Indian influence happening, then again, maybe she got the pattern wrong, and misjudged the hem of her smock when she was running this up on her pfaff. I’m loving the Baby Jane rouge on the cheeks, and she’s got a glass of larney juice as an accessory, now THAT’S style.

Gut buster: Okay, it’s obvious now from the number of photo’s of Beryl having a tipple, that they had to get her pissed to wear some of these frocks. The skirt Beryl is wearing in this photo, is the kind old ladies usually wear to disguise a fibroid growth. As a bonus we get the Tammy Faye eye make up, and the ever disturbing, puffy sleeves.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrr: Red and green should never be seen, either dye the hair Beryl, or lose the frock!

Cardie: B/w, but how artistic. You know i never saw Beryl wearing a cardie with her arms through the sleeves, she always wore them over the shoulder, which must have been a pain in the arse on those cold, blustery, Melbourne days.

Blue ruin: Only Beryl would think to match the blue piping on her sleeves, with her eye shadow.

Podiatrophile: A revealing close up of one of Beryl’s gorgeous gold heels, i must say, I’m mightily impressed that there is nary a sign of a corn, unless she’s had them shaved off. You can tell she lives in heels, by the almost Japanese foot binding shape of her toes.

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